WHERE DO I BEGIN? 🤔

 

Seeing an overdose of wedding posts, always takes me back in time, to when I was in my 20's. 

Back then, like every other girl, I hoped to find 'The One', who was made 'Just for Me'. I had 'Dreams' too, and the 'Eternal Romantic' in me, enjoyed the beautiful 'Love Songs', whenever I heard them on the Music Channels, on the Radio, or at Wedding Receptions.💕🎶 

But I also ran away from the dreaded 'Marriage' topic, like it was the plague.😄 I would often lash out at my parents, whenever they brought it up; and would get really irritated at relatives, whenever they asked, 'So when are you getting Married?'🙄

My mum of course, didn't give up. I was never really a 'Social Butterfly', even though I had lots of friends. Going out and Partying (where you get a chance to meet new people), wasn't really my favourite thing.

I guess, my mother knew that I was quite 'Hopeless', when it came to finding someone, on my own.😂 So, she put up these ads in random places, (sometimes without even letting me know); and even when I was extremely reluctant, she made me meet 'prospective husbands', that I didn't really want to.🤪 

The very 'forced' nature of this entire 'Arranged Marriage' process, used to irritate me terribly. Match-maker aunties, thought I was being 'Too Choosey', because I found some fault or the other, with all their recommendations.🤦‍♀️

It wasn't really because I thought, that these guys weren't good enough for me. Most of them, probably were 'Nice Boys', like those aunties claimed, (as if they had lived with them, and knew everything about them). Oh how much I detested that phrase 'He is a Nice Boy', back then.🙄😂 

But to me, this whole system was so 'flawed'. I could just never understand the concept, of making a decision to spend a lifetime, with some random person, after only meeting them a few times.🤷🏻‍♀️

In the next decade of my life though, when I was in my 30's, life took a drastic turn. My Dad passed away very unexpectedly, when I was just 30 (after being sick and in hospital, for only six days), during the Christmas week in 2009. 

Seven months later, my mum was diagnosed with her first Cancer. The nine years that followed, turned me into a very stressed out 'Caregiver', who was always scared and anxious, that one morning I would wake up, and my Mum would be gone too.😢

So, in those nine years, through her two Cancers and other illnesses, life was all about Doctors, Hospitals, Operations, Medicines, Chemotherapy Sessions, Overnight Hospital stays, Hospital Cafeteria Food; and of course, trying to magically juggle, an extremely tedious and demanding job as well. 'Sleepless nights' became a routine for me. If it wasn't to finish my school work; it was staying up, because of the side effects of the chemotherapy, night after night.

Towards the last year and a half of that journey, (because her second Cancer was too invasive and spread more rapidly), I was literally functioning on 'auto-pilot', not just at my work-place; but through 'Life' in general. I was kind of 'Sleep-Walking' through every day and night, by the time the doctors said, that nothing more could be done, and it was now only 'Palliative Care'.😔

So, in the midst of all of that, the dreaded topic called 'Marriage', just flew out of the window, and was completely forgotten, during those years. There was just no space or time, to even think about it. 

Both my parents died so young, that I didn't even get a chance to ask them, what their 'Wedding Special' was. Each time I hear people talking, about the song played during the 'First Dance' at their wedding, I wish my parents were still around, for me to ask them questions like these. I tried asking my Aunts recently, if any of them remembered. Sadly, no one does.😔

But, since a friend talked about 'Wedding Specials' today, I thought of three beautiful songs that I love. And since this post, ended up being quite a sad and reflective one; I thought I would share some wonderfully meaningful songs, to change and lighten the mood. 

Not everybody is lucky or blessed enough to find their 'Soulmate'; but everyone can enjoy the melodious 'Love Songs', born out of someone else's 'Love Story'.✨️❤️

WHERE DO I BEGIN (LOVE STORY) 🎶

- Andy Williams

(A Lyric Video that I found online, of an all-time favourite Song.)

I DO 🎶

- Mark Wills

This was the Wedding Special, at a cousin's wedding. I loved it from the first moment, that I heard the words of the song. 

I remember them practising the steps at their home, for quite a few days before the wedding. Those were happy times, when the whole family was in Mysore (where they used to stay), for a couple of weeks. 

This song was their 'Wedding Song'; but for me, it also brings back, those unforgettable memories, of everyone being together.😊💞

I WANNA GROW OLD WITH YOU 🎶

- Westlife

(I think this animated Lyric Video uploaded by someone, is so sweet.)😊

'Happy Ever After' only happens in 'Movies and Fairy Tales'; but even if that is not a part of my reality, I still do love the beautiful songs, written about other people's 'Happy Ever After'.💕