IF ONLY I HAD MORE MEMORIES ✨️❤️

IF ONLY I HAD MORE MEMORIES ✍️

What an absolute sweetheart you used to be!
Your amazing gray eyes left everyone spellbound,
I could safely bet and be sure to win,
Cause like you, I’m sure, there was no one around.

Your stay was short, the time was brief
You were destined to be here for a very short while;
But I’m sure that every face, that ever laid eyes on you
Must’ve lit up immediately, in a big, broad smile.

I was young in years and you were younger still
So, the memories I have, are both hazy and few;
If only I’d been older and wiser at the time,
Those images wouldn’t be as fleeting as the morning dew.

We generally don’t remember very much from our very early years,
But so often I wish my brain had a larger memory card back then;
Cause it would have given me a few more moments to savour,
Instead of just the snippets, from which these memoirs I pen.

I remember us quarrelling almost all the time
That’s something I miss most of all;
I remember how we played little make-believe games
We’d make up little skits in our hall.

I regret not having a chance to spend more time with you
I regret not being able to watch you grow;
So often, I wish you were still right here,
My greedy heart keeps asking for more.

But my desires, all came to a screeching halt,
As the wheels of that speeding jeep, came head on;
What a sight your tiny body must’ve been,
By the side of the road - so lifeless, so forlorn!😢

Would things have been different if you hadn’t crossed the street?
Would you have still been right here with me?
What if that driver had stepped on the brakes a little earlier?
What if your handsome face I could still see?🤔

Nineteen long years, I’ve been questioning
I’ve been wondering and wishing and thinking,
And in all these years, I’ve tried my very best
To keep those 'limited memories' from shrinking.

Cause they’re all I have, to remember you by
They’re all I have to 'stay in touch';
With all the progress tele-communication has made,
Direct dialing to heaven, is still a bit too much.

I love you dearest Nathan, more than you will ever know,
If only there was some way, I could tell you what I feel;
I still miss you, my dearest brother, more than words can ever say
The scars may have disappeared now, but the heart will never heal.✨️❤️

STILL WAITING…EVER SO PATIENTLY ✍️

There are so many times, when I think that there’s something or rather 'someone', missing in my life. Of course, the fodder for this thought, comes from the fact that nowadays, every person I meet, has only one question to ask me. “So, when’re you getting married?”🙄 

...And this isn’t restricted just to aunts, uncles and cousins, at family weddings and functions; although I have been asked that question repeatedly, at a few family occasions, that I’ve been to in the recent past.

It’s also one of the topics of conversation, that is repeated almost 3-4 times every day at home; and which I try to avoid now, due to the increasing number of times the subject is broached.

It’s a topic that my colleagues at school, bring up at regular intervals, with increasing frequency these days.

It’s the only topic, my friends seem to be able to talk about, considering that many of us happen to be sailing in the same boat.

And to top it all, my boys in school have joined the bandwagon as well. They’ve even volunteered their services, to run a 'marriage bureau' exclusively for me. In fact, recently on the day of the X Std. farewell, some of them even said, “Miss, please invite us for your wedding.”

So basically, almost everyone I know seems to want me to settle down and get married; and that includes even my 15 and 16 year old boys in school, who are almost half my age.🤦‍♀️

Now, I know that every single person who brings up this topic is doing it because they have my best interest at heart. I also know that every query is well-meant and sincere.

However, my answer to every single one of those people would be another question, “TO WHOM???”🤔

It’s a question that I’ve mulled over, not just for a few days, weeks or months; but it’s a question that has been going through my mind, for a few years now. 

Like every young girl, I have my own hopes and dreams of the 'ideal person' for me. At the same time though, I know that “perfect” and “ideal” are just two very nice words in the dictionary; but that in reality, especially when we’re talking about 'human beings', these words are very hard to live up to. 

I know for a fact, that even I have flaws; and so to even think of finding someone without any, would be very juvenile and silly on my part.

Despite that, I do have a few things, that I always have in mind, when looking for the person, that I would like to spend the rest of my life with. 

Unfortunately, although I am confident that God has created him, I just haven’t been lucky enough to locate him, thus far. Like one of my friends at work puts it, “Only God knows where her 'special someone' is hiding.”😄

Many of my married friends have told me, that marriage is way over-rated; and that life doesn’t really change much, after you tie the knot. It’s just that you go to a different home and start doing a lot of the things, that your parents used to take care of, yourself. 

It does call for a lot more responsibility and lesser time for the fulfillment of your own desires. It does change your life in many ways; and yet, in other ways, life just keeps going on, the way it always was.

Nevertheless, thinking about the issue, often makes me wonder, why our culture attaches so much importance, to the 'Institution of Marriage'. 

No doubt, this question of mine could lead people to think, that this post is now going to be heading in the direction of an 'anti-marriage campaign'. However, that isn’t my intention whatsoever, because I most definitely do intend to get married; and considering the way time is flying, sooner than later actually. 

I just felt like expressing a few of my thoughts, on how the 'Single' young women of today, are just so 'pressurized', by the conventions of culture; and how the need to live up to those 'unwritten rules', of the age by which a girl should be married, adds so much of 'unnecessary stress', to our already stressful existence. It causes the persons concerned, as well as the parents, families and friends, totally uncalled-for worry and anxiety.

I’ve been patient all this time, and will continue to wait patiently, till God brings that 'special someone', that he has made for me, into my life. I just ask for the grace, to be able to recognize him, when he does come along.

...And while I’m waiting, if only society and culture, would give me and others like me, the space and the time, to let life take its course, the way it was supposed to. If only they would let me wait…ever so patiently, how much more comfortable and stress-free, life would be.✍️