THE CAREGIVER'S TEARS ✍️

 

When you see that same pain,

That left you feeling so empty and lost,

Rolling down from another person's distraught eyes;

You want to say, 'I really know that pain' 

But then, you don't.

When you see that same anguish,

That tore your heart and mind apart,

In those helplessly confused, almost garbled words;

You want to say, 'I've felt that anguish too' 

But then, you don't.

When you see that same strain,

That squeezed out every ounce of strength from you,

In her almost mechanical 'auto mode', highly skilled actions;

You want to say, 'I know, cause I'm often still right there' 

But then, you don't.

When you see that same stress,

That made you lose your sense of balance,

Not knowing if you're coming or going, every single day;

You want to say, 'That stress is Real, Ask me!'

But then, you don't.

In moments, that unexpectedly bring you face to face,

With a kind of replay of your own story, in another's strife;

Every wound is re-opened, Every memory refreshed,

Your own arduous journey, is just suddenly brought back to life.

And although you know that you've literally,

'Been there, done that, got the T-shirt', so to say.

You are still left completely silent and speechless,

Because you also know, 'Each one finds their own way.'

There's nothing I could say to help, but 'Listen',

As those 'Healing Hands' wiped away her own tears;

And I sadly pondered over how, even a 'Health Care Professional',

Struggles with those same, very human 'Caregiver's Fears'.😢

(I wrote this after an experience that I had, on this day last year, on the 1st of June' 2023. 

I have always had the deepest respect for all doctors, nurses and those who work in hospitals and clinics. Maybe because, I have spent lots of time in hospitals, over the last decade or two, and observed how they work. Despite their own struggles and trials, they still continue to work and give selflessly everyday.👩‍⚕️🧑‍⚕️

However that day, was the first time, when I saw a Doctor shed a tear or two, while she was attending to me. I guess, the fact that she was a friend, and because she knew 'My Story' also, is probably what made her feel a 'Connection', or just made her feel comfortable enough, to let out some 'unexpressed emotions'.

I didn't say or do anything, other that 'Listen', as the tears overwhelmed her. I was 'Just There', in that moment. I don't know if that helped her to unburden, just a tiny bit of the anguish and stress, which she was going through or not. 

But, I know what she was feeling. I know what led to that unexpected outburst; because I've been there too.😔

Looking back on this incident, a year later, I really hope, that my presence in her clinic that day, comforted and helped her, at least for those few brief moments.)✨️❤️