(This picture is a FB Memory from 7 years ago. I shared it, on 25th June, 2018.)
25th June '2025 ✍️
June 2018 was the time, when my mum's Oncologists told me, that her body was too weak and too frail, to complete the remaining cycles of chemo. She had already been through many, many rounds of it, losing over 35 kgs, in the process.
By that time, her body finally gave up. She couldn't take any more. This was her second Cancer in 8 years and a more aggressive one. She lived for three months after that, but in unbelievable pain; which was so intense, that she didn't even know, who I was, when I spoke to her.πͺ
I used to write posts and share pics like these, back in those days, just to motivate myself to 'Keep Going Anyway'; even though, I was fully aware of the inevitable outcome, which was not too far away.
Seeing this picture and reading these words today, 7 years later; just brought all those memories flooding back.
She had been through so much, that she really had 'no fight left'. Physically, she was already 'not really there anymore'.
...and yet, I kept holding on to 'Hope'.π
Sometimes, we human beings just do that, even though we know, that the situation, is absolutely and completely 'Hopeless'. I guess, we do that, simply because the person means so much to us, and because 'We Care'. That's how much, 'Family' means to us.π
Watching my Mum, slowly but surely, fading away like that; and then, finally losing her, three months later, took everything, away from me.πͺ
My Spirit to keep going,
My Will to do, just about anything and everything.
My Desire to move, from one day to the next; from one moment to the next.
I was just functioning on 'Auto-Pilot', literally.
It'll soon be 7 years since then.
The years have flown by, but I think for the most part, I still go through life, from one day to the next, on 'Auto-Pilot'.
Yes, I Smile and Laugh sometimes; but I still Cry every single day. The tears, just don't stop.ππ Little things, places, incidents, situations and people around me too...Everything triggers off a hundred memories, instantly.
It's difficult to explain those emotions and feelings of 'Loss and Pain', to anyone; but losing one's entire Family, by the age of 38, does that to a person.πͺ
...and I miss 'My Best Friend', at every step of the way.
I think, the day she died, I really stopped 'Living'.
Now, I only 'Exist', because for some strange, inexplicable and unexplainable reason; while she was taken away from me, I was left behind, and am still breathing. π€·π»♀️✍️




























