It's mid-November and the Christmas Music Concert posters, happening across the city in December, have begun to make an appearance.
Which means, it's now time to start 'Counting Backwards', as we come closer to 'The Most Wonderful Time of the Year'.🎄🎅🌟❄️☃️
But in reality, I have a very 'Strange Relationship', with this Joyful and Festive Season. I Love so much about it, but I don't really 'Celebrate Celebrate' Christmas. At least, not for the last 15 years, since 2009.
That was the year my Dad passed way, during the Christmas Season. It was a year in which, my Mum and I, spent the entire Christmas week, from 22nd to 28th December, including Christmas Day, in the hospital.
The following year in 2010, my Mum got sick and she remained unwell, till she bid this world Goodbye in 2018.
So, for the last 15 years, Christmas just doesn't feel like Christmas to me anymore.
Listening to lots and lots of Carols, right through the month of December, is the only Christmassy thing that I enjoy now.✨️🎶
Decorations, Trees, Lights, Christmas sweets and even the Food - I just lost interest in all of that, over the years. So, I stay away from the Family Get Togethers, on Christmas Day too. It just brings back too many 'Happy Memories', of things I used to do with my parents at Christmas Time, which makes me feel 'Extremely Sad'.
Meeting my extended family, should make me Happy, and it does, whenever I do meet them occasionally; but seeing everyone 'Making Memories' with their own Families. That is just 'Too Difficult' for me, 'Still'. It always makes me miss 'My Own Family', even more.😢💔
So, just like I always have a very 'Quiet Birthday' every year, I have an even 'Quieter Christmas'. It's probably a 'Sad' way to spend a 'Joyful Day', but I prefer it that way. I simply can't do 'Festivity and Celebrations with Family' anymore.
I know, my Extended Family always wishes, that I wasn't like that; but it's difficult for me to put into words, how seeing everyone with their Individual Families, on a Special Occasion, or at a Family Function, makes me feel. It just 'Breaks my Heart', and 'Hurts', more than anything in the world.😞
Somehow the 'Carols', are the Only One Thing, that still keep me Connected to the 'Joy' of the Season; and I'm glad at least that, still makes me 'Happy'.😊🎄🎶❤️
I found this Song yesterday, and then listened to three different versions of it. I guess, it was the Song, that led me, to write this post today.
I may not 'Celebrate Christmas', just like the ones I used to know, a long time ago...❄️☃️🎄🎶 But I guess, 'The very 'Nostalgic Feeling' that Christmas brings, year after year, is something I will carry in my Heart, Always'.🌟💞
WHERE ARE YOU CHRISTMAS? 🎄🎅🎶
- THE ONE VOICE CHILDREN'S CHOIR
(It is also coincidentally, Children's Day today.)
- FAITH HILL (From 'How the Grinch stole Christmas')🎄🎅🎶
- PENTATONIX 🎄🎅🎶
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