When I was growing up, I used to steer clear of groups of boys, who were standing or sitting together on building compound walls in the neighbourhood. They somehow always seemed to have something to say about every person who walked past, which obviously made those who were passing by, a little uncomfortable and nervous, and often caused us to try and avoid venturing out at the times, when these compound wall chats happened.
Then some years later I went to college; and once again, I found this different group of guys there as well, who constantly stood around a particular spot, and passed comments about everyone who walked by. I don't think they ever realised how many people (girls especially) preferred to take a longer round-about route, to go wherever they needed to go, just so that they didn't become a part of those daily male gossip sessions.
Almost two decades after that, (because I worked with mostly women during that time, where my female colleagues always out-numbered the male ones; and so thankfully, I didn't have to deal with that discomfort, during those years), I was re-visited by those very similar unsettling feelings once more. They somehow took me right back in time, and made me think of those childhood compound wall boys, and those college bullies, who were just always standing around, making everyone feel uncomfortable, with their unkind remarks and boyish giggles.
You would probably think, that boys mature and outgrow those silly school and college-boy habits, when they turn into men. However, I discovered that this group, was still doing exactly the same thing, each time they got together.
Pulling people down with harsh words, being rude and unkind, at the drop of a hat, passing judgements based on their own personal biases; to a point where they actually began to seem like those same 'bullies' that I used to keep my distance from, both in my neighbourhood and in college.
Grown men, with wives and children, still behaving like they could say 'anything' to and about anyone; and all the time, not even caring how their 'insensitive words' (that they consider jokes), could really affect another person's morale or hurt another person. Someone, who may just be trying to find a small way, to make them smile everyday; and ended up finding 'insensitivity' instead.😔
Experiences like these just make me wonder about so many things...
What makes people so critical and cynical in life, that they have to always pass rude remarks and offensive comments about other people?
Why can't people just 'live and let live', instead of always having an opinion about everything that someone else does, to the point of causing the other, a feeling of discomfort in their presence?
Why don't people realise that the same things that they are saying and doing to others today, may one day come full circle and happen to someone, in their own families too?
I don't usually write posts like these, (and maybe my words and thoughts won't even matter and may just be passed off as 'nonsense or rubbish' by a few); but occasionally, there are things that need to be said, because 'what is of no consequence to someone, may actually matter to another'. Also because, these thoughts have been weighing heavily on the mind for a very long time. Unfortunately though, saying them to the people who actually need to hear it, only results in hurt and misunderstandings, leading to 'fractured friendships' (which no one really wants to cause or happen).
But I guess, at the same time, getting it out of the system and putting it down in words somewhere, is extremely necessary for our own sanity and peace of mind. It's what might probably prevent us, from turning into just another over-cynical and extremely critical individual.
...and it is always better to be a person, who simply tries to 'fill the world with a little ray of sunshine', even in the tiniest of ways, if and when we can.✍️
