...BUT YOU DON'T KNOW ME ✍️

 

'Jumping To Conclusions', seems to be a favourite pass-time of most people. I don't know if that's a common human trait, in people across the world; or whether it is an absolutely irritating condition, that lots of over-inquisitive and supposedly concerned individuals, in our part of the world, suffer from.

I've had innumerable short encounters and experiences like these, (over the last 5 or 6 years especially) of instances, when people who barely know me, or who just happened to know my parents, or who knew of me because of the work I did; freely offer the most bizarre and completely unnecessary 'suggestions', or worse still, 'advice' that I didn't ask for; after a five-minute brief conversation with me (when they're actually meeting me, after over a decade or two, or maybe even more).

In the entire chat, that doesn't last more than a few minutes, (because I'm not the best conversationalist around anyway), while I only exchange pleasantries, just out of courtesy, because someone smiled and said Hello to me; these eager beavers, somehow manage to ask me a dozen questions (often very personal ones too), without the slightest hesitation, and with the skill of seasoned journalists.🤦‍♀️

Unfortunately for them, their efforts are quite futile, because they only receive answers in a nod, a forced smile or just monosyllables; because I have no interest at all, in being interviewed by anyone, whether they're acquaintances who happen to know me, friends of my parents, or even my own old friends, who I've suddenly met after a gap of many years.🥴

I know that 'Man is a social animal' and by virtue of that, interacting and conversing with others of the species, is something that comes naturally to all of us. Human interactions are very essential and necessary too, for a person to avoid having an emotional or mental breakdown, due to a lack of communication...But, when it happens in this way, it kind of feels like more of an inquisition, rather than a healthy interaction.

I don't know why this troubles me more now, than it did before. I guess it is because I've chosen to be more private and to keep to myself, a lot more than I did earlier. So, even these very casual, meaningless conversations, seem like an intrusion on my personal space. I know that the ones, who have these million queries, are just doing it out of force of habit, or maybe because they're overly curious, or in some rare cases, because they really do care... But, I still think, people need to have some boundaries and respect another person's need to share only what they wish to, without being asked.

It may seem rather strange that a person who writes all these posts on a blog, and shares so much of stuff, in almost the same way as writing an 'Open Diary' (which potentially, could be read by absolute strangers), has so many hang-ups with two or three minute conversations (with people who are somewhat familiar or maybe even friends). But, I guess most people share only what they want others to know about them, kind of like the 'tip of the iceberg' phenomenon, that I studied about in psychology classes. No one could know more about any person, than that person themselves.

Of course, we all need an outlet somewhere. For someone who struggles with verbal conversations, a place like this, where thoughts become words on a page, is a welcome space to vent. But it doesn't automatically mean, that anyone who reads these posts, knows the real person behind the words. Like Ray Charles sang in his song, 'You think you know me well, but you don't know me.'🎶

I only ever had one 'Sounding Board' in my life. After I lost her, my life just went completely 'Silent' for a couple of years; till I started boring a couple of friends occasionally, with extra-long, never ending texts. But now, since I often feel like I might be intruding and disturbing those 'Listening Ears', because they may be busy with life, work or their own families and other friends; this blog is kind of my way, of saying what's on my mind. Whether anyone reads it or not, doesn't really matter to me; because more than anything, writing these posts is just my way of ensuring that the 'Silence', doesn't make me go completely crazy.😄✍️