I’m sure everyone has heard the saying, ‘The grass is always greener on the other side.’ I got a chance to experience that in this past one month.
What a month this has been!!! It’s the month of May; and it’s an unusually hot and exceptionally humid one this year. The heat is driving everyone up the wall. Thankfully, since I’m on holidays, I don’t really need to venture out into the sun that often, which is really a blessing in some ways.
Strangely though, I find myself envying those people who don’t have to stay at home. I even went to school 3-4 times this month, with no particular purpose. Just went, because I was too bored to sit at home. There was hardly anyone around; but I went anyway.
I’ve also become exceptionally grumpy this month, probably because I don’t have a lot of people around me, to jabber with all day long, which is something I’m really a master at normally. I somehow seem to have lost my 'chirpy self' during this one month, in the wilderness of free time. When you have so much of it, you don’t know what to do with it, and it kind of weighs down on you.
‘Why are you complaining about holidays and free time?’, is what anyone would be tempted to ask. ‘It’s a blessing. At a time when everyone longs for a break, you’re actually getting a really long one, and you’re unhappy about it!!! What in the world is wrong with you???’
‘Why are you complaining about holidays and free time?’, is what anyone would be tempted to ask. ‘It’s a blessing. At a time when everyone longs for a break, you’re actually getting a really long one, and you’re unhappy about it!!! What in the world is wrong with you???’
These are obvious statements and questions that anyone is bound to ask, in response to my grumbling.
So, am I ungrateful for a 'blessing', that I am so privileged to enjoy, year after year??? Am I stupid to be grumpy when anyone else in my place would be rejoicing???ðĪ
The answer – ‘I’m just human!!!’
The answer – ‘I’m just human!!!’
One of the first statements, in our old community living and later, sociology text books used to be, ‘Man is a social animal and he needs to live in society, to live a healthy and happy life.’
Over the last five years, my closest 'community', other than my parents, has been the people at my work place. I spend the larger part of my day, with my colleagues in school and my boys; and when I come home, I spend the latter half of the day, talking about everything that happened in school.
So, when I have to stay away from that community, for the first part of the day; I find myself at a loss for words, in the latter half of the day as well, because I have nothing to talk about.ðĪ·ðŧ♀️
My mum pointed out to me a few days ago, that I seem to be talking about school, after every two sentences. Somehow or the other, the conversation that we have, always ends up going back to someone or something related to school.
My mum pointed out to me a few days ago, that I seem to be talking about school, after every two sentences. Somehow or the other, the conversation that we have, always ends up going back to someone or something related to school.
It made me realize, how closely connected I have become to my 'family at work'. My life practically revolves around my school and everything associated with it; and taken away from that set-up, even for a brief period of one month, I feel handicapped. I feel like a plant, plucked out of its natural habitat and forced to thrive elsewhere.ð
I’m on holidays; but despite that, I’m not the best person to be around these days, because I’m 'grumpy', and seem to be a little 'cranky' as well.
I’m on holidays; but despite that, I’m not the best person to be around these days, because I’m 'grumpy', and seem to be a little 'cranky' as well.
When I’m at school, every day is a new day, with countless new experiences at every step. Contrary to that, the last month has been largely uneventful, and lacking in mirth. There’ve been a few happy moments; but there seemed to be something, that was hindering that joy from bursting forth.
When you don’t have much to do with your time, you begin to spend that time thinking; but I guess too much of thinking, can make you lose your mind. I guess that’s what I’ve encountered during this break.ð
I usually spend my holidays, out on a school trip. So, even though technically I’m on holiday, I’m still with my extended family; and so I don’t feel so lost. This year, I spent the entire month at home…No trip, No holiday, No outings. My only contact with my extended family, was the computer and the phone, which did keep me connected to a few colleagues and students; but I guess it cannot substantially make up, for what I have when school is on.
I did try to catch up on my reading, and tried to sort out the mess in my room, which was long overdue; but these are all tasks, that one has to do alone...and living 'a solitary existence', is not exactly my idea of a 'Life'.
I usually spend my holidays, out on a school trip. So, even though technically I’m on holiday, I’m still with my extended family; and so I don’t feel so lost. This year, I spent the entire month at home…No trip, No holiday, No outings. My only contact with my extended family, was the computer and the phone, which did keep me connected to a few colleagues and students; but I guess it cannot substantially make up, for what I have when school is on.
I did try to catch up on my reading, and tried to sort out the mess in my room, which was long overdue; but these are all tasks, that one has to do alone...and living 'a solitary existence', is not exactly my idea of a 'Life'.
I need people around me, to bring some noise and laughter into my world.
I need voices around me, to counter the loneliness within.
I need my boys around me, to fill my days with smiles.
Without them, I feel that life itself is a drag.
So, have I got too attached to my family at work?...Yes, I think I have. I’ve always been a person, who doesn’t need a big reason to be happy. Now I realize, that I don’t need a reason to be happy because 'my reason to smile', is always around me; and it’s only when I’m forced to be away from them, that I feel incomplete.
I really thank God for my family at school – my Principal (who I will miss dearly), my colleagues of course (who’re my closest friends these days); but most of all, my boys (both past and present).
So, have I got too attached to my family at work?...Yes, I think I have. I’ve always been a person, who doesn’t need a big reason to be happy. Now I realize, that I don’t need a reason to be happy because 'my reason to smile', is always around me; and it’s only when I’m forced to be away from them, that I feel incomplete.
I really thank God for my family at school – my Principal (who I will miss dearly), my colleagues of course (who’re my closest friends these days); but most of all, my boys (both past and present).
All of you together, make me the person that I am. YOU COMPLETE ME...THANK YOU!!!✨️❤️
