MUSIC AND ME ✨️🎶

A painter paints pictures on canvas, but musicians paint their pictures on silence. 🎨🎶

- Leopold Stokowski. 

It is truly amazing how music can fill one's life with so much Joy. It's just a few musical notes strung together, harmoniously bursting forth from a whole range of musical instruments; and yet, for those few moments, it can literally transport you into a different world. 

Music can actually set the mood. It can lift your spirits, when you're down in the dumps; and it can evoke beautiful memories of wonderful moments, spent in the company of those you Love. For me personally, Music has always been one thing, that fills my heart with tremendous Joy.😊💕

I just spent a lovely evening yesterday, enjoying some beautiful Broadway melodies, performed live by the Bombay Chamber Orchestra. I've been for a number of their concerts over the years, thanks to a couple of old friends, who've been part of the BCO for years; and I've enjoyed every single concert, that I've been to. 

This time, was no exception. It was a wonderful experience just being there,especially since another friend, was making his debut, playing the drums for the BCO at this concert. While it must have been nerve racking for him, trying his best not to play a wrong beat anywhere, it was wonderful for us to watch him, become part of this wonderful group of classically trained musicians, which has been around for 49 long years.✨️

The group includes both young and old, from school children to people who are well into their 80's, all brought together with one single vision - the Passion for Good Music. 

Collectively, this bunch of musical enthusiasts, are the heart of Mumbai's Western Classical music circuit, because they strive to keep it alive; despite the fact that almost all of them work full-time jobs, in various other professions. Music being a little more than just a hobby for them, they manage to find the time for rehearsals, despite their hectic schedules, and the routine they have to follow, on a daily basis. I really marvel at their dedication and the focus, with which they do what they love best.

There are a number of people who learn and play music for their personal pleasure; but those who play and perform music for others, are sharing their joy with so many others, who may have had the desire to play music, but have never really been able to pursue their love for music, by actually learning to play a musical instrument.❤️

When I look at myself, I realize that all through my life, I've been connected to 'Music' in some way or the other. I've sung in Church Choirs, for as long as I can remember. I remember singing my first solo in Church, on my First Holy Communion Day, when I was just in Class 3, and barely 8 or 9 years old. From there, began my journey of singing in Choirs. 

I guess I could credit my first Music Teacher, who taught me to read notes from a Music sheet, and then turn those notes into a beautiful melody on a keyboard; with introducing me to Choir Music. She was the one, who initiated me into a love for Liturgical music. 

At different stages of my life, I've sung in a number of Church choirs, Choirs at School and in College; and with each group, I've learnt something new. I've also had an opportunity to meet and interact with a number of musicians, many of whom, play a lot more than just Church Music; and each interaction, has only added to my knowledge and Love for Music.✨️

Over the years, I've also realised that my Love for Music, has unconsciously been a very strong factor, in my choice of friends as well. A large number of my friends, right through my school and college years, and even today; are people who either sing or play some musical instrument or the other. I don't think I ever went looking for these friends though. I guess, it just happened, that the Music brought us together and made us Friends. 

This extensive list of friends, includes those who've sung for pleasure, those who sing because it's a passion, friends from college who've combined their singing talent with their amazing stage presence and been part of a number of acapella groups, friends who compose, create and direct music, and even friends whose music has been recorded and sold. While a few of these friends have gone on to win acclaim and recognition, even Internationally; most of them continue to make music or sing, simply because it brings them Joy.😊🎶

As a result of my interaction with Musicians of all kinds over the years, I've also found that the choice of genres of' music that I enjoy, spans a very wide range - from classical to non-classical, Western to Indian, soft instrumental to folk music, musicals to acapella, jazz to church music and occasionally Hindi pop music as well.

When people ask me, what kind of music I like or who my favourite singer is, I always find myself without a ready answer. I think the reason is simply because, I like so many different kinds of music, that it's difficult to actually pick and choose which one I like more than others. So, it's safer to say, I just love Good Music.🤷🏻‍♀️

The only regret I have though, is that I didn't really pursue the Musical Instrument, that I set out to learn to play, for too many years after I finished school. The desire still exists; but I guess the determination to sit down and practise, is something that needs to be worked on constantly. 

Thankfully, the fact that I still sing in a Choir, has kept me connected with reading music till today; and I sometimes console myself by saying, that as long as I can still read music, I will be able to get back to playing music, whenever I choose to.😊

I'm grateful that I can always hum a tune when I'm happy, and I'm happier still, that God has blest me with so many friends over the years, who share my Love for Music, and whose Passion for Music, has been even stronger than my Love for it.❤️

While many of my musically inclined friends are separated by time and space today, I hope and pray that they are continuing to do what they love best. Hopefully someday, we will sing together again. Maybe sometime in the future, I may be able to Sing to your tunes, or you may be able to sing Lyrics that I have written; but for the moment, may we all continue to fill the world with Music, wherever we may be.✨️🎶

P.S...In case some of my old college friends happen to look at this post, I really miss hearing you all sing and watching you perform. Just writing this post, brought back a lot of old memories, from days gone by.🤗

   

ROLE -MODELS FOR OUR GENERATION 🏏

Dreams do come true!!! For some like Sachin Tendulkar, it takes all of 22 years to become a reality; but eventually, the long and seemingly endless wait, bore fruit. For others, the wait might not seem like one at all, as in the case of Virat Kohli, who played his first ever World Cup and reaped rich dividends almost instantaneously. 

Over the last weekend, when the enthusiasm of almost every Indian rose to a fever pitch, as India won that elusive 'World Cup' after 28 long years, I joined in the revelry as well, in my own small way. I was overjoyed too. The excitement was thoroughly contagious; and it managed to rub off, even on the most confirmed cynic of the game of cricket.🏏

I've always loved the game though, and am proud to say that I've stood by the Men in Blue, even at times when they were down in the dumps and ridiculed by the world at large, for not performing well-enough. So, this win was a truly stupendous moment, and one that I will cherish forever in my memory. 

Although I was around way back in 1983, I was only about 4 years old then; and so I don't even have a faint recollection, of that momentous occasion. So, for me this World Cup win, is the first one that I will be able to remember, for a long time to come. It's a story I will be able to tell my grand-children some day, cause I was here when it happened.😊

There were a number of special moments in this World Cup, and a number of people who made this event something to remember, for a long, long time; but I'd like to write about two special people that I'm really, really happy for and proud of. When I think of this World Cup win some years down the road, the faces of these two individuals, is what will stay with me.

The first one of course, is Sachin Tendulkar. While it was his dream to hold that Cup one day; and his entire team worked so hard, in order to make that dream of his a reality, it was also a desire in my heart, to see Sachin conquer that one final summit, in the game of cricket, that had eluded him even after 6 World Cups.

Like scores of others, I too have always admired the 'Little Master' for his dedication and perseverance. He has a steely resolve and an undying spirit in him, that just refuses to give way. I admire the way he just gets better and better as the years go by, maturing like wine into the best you've ever tasted. It's been 22 years and he still seems to possess the energy and the determination to keep going for a few years more. 

Already into my 30's, I sometimes feel the strain of life catching up with me; but Sachin somehow manages to overcome every hurdle along his path. He truly is an 'Inspiration', to the world at large; and I'm proud to say, I was born in the same generation as him, and lived when he walked the face of the earth. Men like him are born just once in a lifetime; and I'm glad I've been around, to witness his various achievements.🌟

Without doubt, the second person I was really proud of, was our 'Captain Cool' - Mahendra Singh Dhoni or 'Mahi', as he is often lovingly referred to. His composure on the field, has been spoken of by many. His tactical decisions and his straightforward approach, have also been applauded by one and all. 

Over and above all of these qualities though, what stood out for me about MSD was his humility. His ability and willingness to take a back seat, is what had been most commendable. Right through the tournament, he led from the front; but when it was time to bask and revel in the glory, he didn't hog the limelight all by himself. Instead, one had to struggle to find Dhoni in the images in the newspaper, the day after the historic win. He just blended into the background so effortlessly; and so, what we saw was 'Team India', and not just the Captain who led the team.👏👏👏

I think that was the most outstanding mark of his 'Leadership'. I admire a Leader like him who can be Humble, even in the face of adulation of this proportion. To be able to stand his ground and not get carried away in the moment, is something that I am so proud of him for. I hope that MSD will continue to be as humble as he was in those winning moments always, because it is that one quality of his, that has made him rise up even higher in people's estimation.👍

The World Cup is now over; but those proud and joyous moments will live on. I may never meet Sachin or Dhoni in my life-time. My acquaintance with them, may just be restricted to the images I see of them on the T.V. screen, every time they step onto the field; but these two men, have left an indelible mark on my heart. 

More than their ability and mastery of the Sport itself, it is their 'human qualities' that have touched me and appealed to me. I pray that they may always be blest in all that they do.✨️💕

I CRY BECAUSE I CARE 😢

I didn't teach you to disobey,
Still you choose to ignore all I have to say.
I didn't show you how to cheat,
Still you persistently go astray.
I didn't put those words onto your tongue,
Still you utter profanity day after day.
I didn't display a lack of respect for you,
Still your manners are heading towards absolute decay.

I've always tried to teach by example,
Yet my actions couldn't fulfill their aim.
I've always endeavoured to practice what I preach,
Yet your behaviour generates nothing but shame.
I've always worked towards doing my best for you,
Yet the way you've turned out, makes me feel so lame.
I've always striven hard, to show you the right way to go,
Yet thru' your antics, you seldom uphold my name.

To me it seems like you just don't care,
My deep anguish is slowly turning to despair.
I've always loved you from the depths of my heart,
It now seems to have been, a waste of time from the start.

I ache with pain from my very core,
As years go by, I dread to imagine what's in store.
Times are a-changing at such a rapid pace,
Values slowly vanishing, soon to be gone without a trace.😢✍️

HANDS THAT HEAL 🙏

For some weeks now, I have been pondering on the role and importance of 'health-care professionals' in our lives. Doctors, nurses and hospital staff in general - most of us pray and wish we will never need to associate with this group of people too often. Other than the fact that associating with them for too long, makes an extremely large hole in our pockets these days, most of us also often wish that our good health, will not require us to pay frequent visits to the 'sick room'.

Over the past year or so, I've had the opportunity of encountering and associating with a number of health-care professionals, at close quarters. Although, I would have liked life to have turned out differently; I've had experiences this year, when I've had to come face-to face with situations, where I couldn't have done without docs, nurses and the other hospital staff. 

I've spent time in 3-4 different hospitals and nursing homes, from very small ones to extremely large ones. I've also observed their day to day activities, from extremely close quarters. So, my observations here are based not on hearsay, but on practical experience.

Before I say any more, I'd first like to say, I really salute every single person, who willingly chooses to become a health-care professional. The simple reason for that is because I think it is truly a 'calling'. 

It's not like any other profession where you go to work, do your job and go back home every day. Instead, it's a profession that involves being on your toes, being alert, being ready to step in when required, being a person with a ready smile, even when you're not doing so well yourself, being level-headed, being concerned and also having a very strong presence of mind, literally 24/7. It's the one profession where even family,friends, enjoyment, special occasions,etc. come second to what needs to be done at a particular moment.

Now I know, there will be cynics and pessimists who would say, "With the amount they charge these days, they have to provide services accordingly". I have also heard people grumbling to glory, about doctors and nurses, and their insensitivity. 

I know that most of us associate hospitals with 'giant-size bills', and crib about the fact that most hospitals these days, follow the principle of 'Pay first - Services later'. A number of times, I myself, have been the first one to point out, these very same flaws in the system. 

However, my first hand observations, have led me to change a few of my initial, half-baked perceptions, which I now know were based on, me looking at the situation from the perspective of an 'outsider'. I find that I have now become less critical, of the way things function in a hospital, and very grateful to all those who work in this field, for offering themselves to be of service to the world at large.

Here are some of my observations: 

'So much money, for just a short consultation;and only a few minutes of the doc's time; or for just a passing 'doctor's visit' to the room, pre or post a surgery, when admitted in hospital'.

That's something most of us crib about. A Doc may charge between 500 and 700 rupees for a 10 minute consultation. Even if you check your hospital bills, the doctor's routine visits to the room, also feature on it sometimes, in bigger hospitals; and it's often, not a very small amount. 

It seems a tad too much: but I guess docs have their reasons, for charging the way they do. Have we ever tried asking one of them why they charge that much? Maybe a straightforward question, would give us a straightforward answer. 

For a moment though, if we keep that thought aside; and think about the doc himself. Have we ever stopped to think about, how many operations he has done, before coming to his clinic that morning? Do we know whether the patient he has just operated on, has survived or passed away? 🤔

We're quick to criticize him/her at the slightest offence, but do we know whether he/she has found the time or remembered to even eat his/her lunch? Sunday is a day of rest for most of us; but have we ever thought about how docs have to drop everything they are doing, and rush to save a life in an emergency situation, even on a Sunday or a holiday?

When it comes to nurses, criticism is always very high on the list. However, I find that most of them, do their jobs with a lot of sincerity and dedication. Considering that it is a job where they cannot afford to make any mistake whatsoever; and have to keep track of so many different patients at the same time, without any scope for error, I think they do their very best.

The shift system that they work in, is also one that invovles a lot of attention, because they have to ensure that they read the charts well, and do not repeat or forget to administer the medication to a particular patient, according to what the nurse in the previous shift has done.

If we think about how a patient is constantly monitored for 24 hours, despite the fact that there have been 2-3 nurses looking after them, as their shifts have changed, one can only admire the precision, with which they do they jobs. 

Most people notice their occasional lack of concern and a few harsh words, that they may say to us, and brand them as being 'useless' or 'horrible'. Those are the most common words I've heard people use, when talking about nurses; but on closer observation, one will realise how much they have to keep in mind and be aware of, at all times; due to which they may not always have the time, to exchange pleasantries and for sweet talk.

Occasional lapses and oversights may happen, but who doesn't make mistakes. It's true that a mistake in a hospital, could cost someone dearly; but I don't think we need to brand them as being 'incapable' because of that, because on the whole, I'm sure they do their jobs pretty well. 

It's very easy to comment about what doesn't happen, or what they don't do well, when we're on the outside; but spending a few days on the inside, makes you see the innumerable things that they do, and that they do pretty well, I must add. It makes you see things from their point of view.

Finally, when we talk about expenses, we always wonder, why it has to cost so much and why hospitals bother more about their money, than attending to the patient. 

I guess, my experiences in a number of hospitals this year, have also given me a sense of clarity, on why that needs to be the way it is. I was in a situation where an emergency I.C.U.admission would be done on a Sunday evening, only if a very large payment was made before hand. 

Obviously, in an emergency situation, the money which you may have in your bank account, isn't readily accessible; especially when it is an exceedingly large amount. In that situation, it was only natural to grumble, about the way things function, and giving the person on the counter a earful, about how hospitals have become totally commercialised these days, and do not bother about human beings.

In retrospect though, I've realised that just as we expect them to understand our situation, we also need to understand their plight. They need to run the hospital, and they can't run it if bills aren't paid. It wouldn't really be easy for them to keep track of, and run after the relatives of patients at a later stage; because in a big hospital, that isn't really practical. Collecting the admission amount at the time of admission therefore, is an absolute necessity; and I guess those of us who avail of hospital services, need to realise, that it's not a money-making racket, it's just 'procedure'. It's just a way of keeping things systematic.🤷🏻‍♀️

In this context, I'd also like to mention my encounter with a doctor, who owns a small nursing home, who didn't charge a penny, till about a week after we'd left his hospital, and got tranferred to a larger hospital, in an 'Emergency situation'. We didn't even receive a call, asking us to make the payment, till we ourselves went to clear the bill, about a week after my Dad passed away; which I thought was extremely considerate on their part.

I guess when it's a smaller hospital, there is scope for more understanding and trust, between doctor and patient; which practically speaking, is a little difficult in a larger hospital, with a larger number of patients.

I'd like to end by saying that 'Gratitude' is a very important virtue in life; and more so, when we are dealing with people, who help us stay fit and healthy. Whether one has had a speedy recovery, or an unpleasant stay in a hospital, I think that we need to always express a word of thanks, to all those who work in this profession, at every chance we get. 

I still remember the expressions on the faces of the docs in the I.C.U. when I said 'Thank-You' to them. They were probably stunned, that I remembered to thank them, in the midst of a tragic situation. They also probably found the use of the words 'Thank-You', slightly inappropriate in the given situation. 

However, I think it was necessary for me to say it to them at that moment, because I never met those docs again after that day, and if I hadn't thanked them then, I would never have had a chance to appreciate them, for all the effort they'd put in, to try and make things better. They were unsuccessful in that instance no doubt, but that doesn't mean, they didn't do the best that they could.

In conclusion then, I'd just like to express my heartfelt gratitude to 'health-care professionals' everywhere.I pray and ask God to bless these 'HANDS THAT HEAL' abundantly, so that they may always continue the good work that they do; and that they may receive grace and strength, to do what they do, with dedication, sincerity and above all 'HEART'.🙏❤️

DIARY OF A TEACHER IN DISTRESS ✍️

Have been wanting to post for a very long time; but couldn't think of what to write about. A couple of my students who are regular readers of this blog, keep coaxing me to post; but I've been buried under so much of work over the past few months, both at school and at home, that the thoughts just weren't putting themselves together. Everytime I thought I'd post, I reached a dead-end. What do I write about? Who do I write about? Nothing seemed interesting enough to put into words.

After a lot of deliberation, I finally decided to put down a few thoughts, on something that's been troubling me incessantly, over the past few months. This is going to sound more like me venting out, a lot of pent up feelings and emotions. Come to think of it, these feelings haven't really been pent up, because I've been voicing my displeasure, at every given opportunity, over the past few months. 

I never thought I'd say this, but the ones who've been the main cause of my anxiety, are actually 'My Students'. I know I've always referred to them as 'My reason to smile'; but sadly this year, I've had a series of experiences, which have been responsible for an almost complete disappearance, of that very characteristic smile, that I've always been known for. 

This may come as a rude shock, to many of my past-students; but I actually think I've been smiling a lot lesser this year, than ever before. Could go into 'Ripley's believe it or not', couldn't it?🤔

Have just been looking back on the last few months and trying to figure out, what has gone wrong this year. I'm into my 7th year as a teacher; and so far, it's always been a pleasure to go to work. The work-load, the pressure, the deadlines, the corrections - they are a real handful no doubt; but they never really bothered me so much, because in the midst of all that work, there were always a few little fellows around, with a ready smile, which made me forget that work was taking a toll on me.

The younger boys always looked up to me with wonder, as I tried to stimulate their minds and take them into imaginary worlds, that they hadn't been to before. 

To the older boys, I was like a big sis and a friend, with whom they could always share their thoughts and feelings. 

With the X Std students especially, I have always shared a very close bond every year. I've tried to be a confidant, a guide, a friend, a mentor, a role-model and so much more. 

All through these years, this arrangement seemed to work magically well. As a teacher, I always had so much to share; and my students were always open, to imbibe much more.

Then June'2010 dawned on us; and all of a sudden, everything that was magical and beautiful about this profession, that I love so much, just seemed to vanish completely. 

My colleagues and me, have encountered what we often refer to, as 'one of the toughest X Std batches ever'. They'd been a difficult set of guys in Class 9 itself; but things kind of spiralled out of control, once they stepped foot into Class 10.

Right from the very beginning, they seem to have had only one agenda. "It's our last year in school. So, let's have fun." If that so called 'good-time' comes at the cost of the teacher's distress, it didn't really matter. It seemed to be completely irrelevant to them. They chose to be totally oblivious to the fact; that we, their teachers, have been so troubled over the past few months, due to the way in which they've been conducting themselves, both in and out of the classroom.

...and that is one of the primary reasons for my distress this year. As hard as I try, I just can't seem to create the same 'Rapport' that I shared with my students, only a year ago. 

These students give me the impression, that no matter what I say, it doesn't really matter to them. My words are completely immaterial. My thoughts have no real significance, in their lives. I have so much that I want to share with them, but they just don't seem to care; not for the effort, not for the trouble taken for their sakes, not for the lost-smile (which would have been a major cause for concern, with any of my ex-students.) Nothing I say or do, seems to be worth their attention or time. I seem to have been reduced to a mere 'fly', buzzing around their heads for a few minutes every day, and they choose to just wave me away with a flick of their wrists.😔

As a result of this complete disregard for anything I say or do; in the past few months, I've gone through feelings of self-doubt, utter frustration, terrible dejection and a host of very negative emotions, which previously never came a-knocking at my door. I've tried every trick in the book to get them to realize, that I have something worthwhile to give them; but they invaribly reduce my hard-work, to a snigger or a guffaw, which can be terribly 'demoralizing'.

For a teacher, nothing can be worse than not being able to 'reach' her students. My hardest struggle this year, has been my inability to build up and create that same rapport, that I shared with students in all the years that have gone by. 

I wouldn't say that I'm disillusioned; but my belief in my ability as a teacher has definitely received a severe jolt this year. I know I haven't compromised on my teaching. I know I always give in more than my best. I know that I never go to class unprepared. Despite all that, I'm bordering on a gradual loss of optimism, which is a completely new world for me.😢

Maybe it's just this one batch, and in a few months, my ordeal will have ended; but in the months that remain, the road ahead seems uphill and the terrain extremely rocky.

I pray for strength to tide through the final few months of this journey. I pray that I may not be disillusioned by all that I have to deal with. I ask that my boys may be blest with wisdom, to know that there's a time and place for everything. I pray for courage to keep going despite the pitfalls. ✍️

WHEN EDUCATION BECOMES A JOKE 🤔

Just a few days ago, the S.S.C. results were declared. The initial reaction was obvious - Jubilation and a tremendous sense of joy, because almost everyone seemed to have scored marks, way beyond their expectations. The cases of disappointment were probably one in a million. In those moments of exhilaration, I also joined in the celebrations and stuffed myself with all the 'pedas', that were free-flowing this year.

It didn't take me very long though, to sit back and evaluate the situation. Within a few hours, I realised that this joy, wasn't limited to just my school. It was a common feeling in every school across the city, and probably the State as well.

The newspapers the next day, provided the statistics of doom, that were a complete shocker. A 2% improvement in the pass percentage. 

Why would anyone frown upon that? Only a cynic or someone out of their mind, would find anything wrong with what had happened. Believing that they'd worked wonders, the authorities were probably sitting back and relaxing, thinking they'd achieved something significant; because there were no cases of suicide reported, the helplines were unusually silent and almost everyone seemed to be over the moon with happiness.

The reality however, will soon dawn on all those who're at the receiving end of those unbelievable marks, namely the students. Their untainted joy will soon bear the blemish of uncertainty. 

I really feel for my students who think they've done so well, and achieved a real milestone. The State says there are enough seats and more in colleges, and no one will be left stranded. Of course, anyone with the ability to use rational thinking and logical reasoning would be able to reach the conclusion, that securing a seat in a "good" college, will be next to impossible, even for those thousands in the city, who've scored above 90% marks. They will have to settle for a seat in a mediocre college, which does not offer the best facilities and without the best faculty, despite the fact that they have the marks and deserve to be there.

The Department of Education probably thinks, that they've worked a miracle; but the reality of this debacle, will soon raise its ugly head and be there for all to see.

There is some light at the end of this dark tunnel though; and that is the Judiciary of this country. If they use their discretion and judge wisely, the foolishness that has been displayed in the declaration of these results and in the use of the 'Best 5' system, can be turned on it's head, and some kind of normalcy could return to this utterly chaotic and crazy situation.

One of my ex-students told me something in a casual conversation, a couple of days ago. He said, "Miss, shouldn't the Board be improving the system of Education and Exams, and bringing that on par with the other Boards, instead of just blindly doling out marks." 

I couldn't agree with him more. There are probably a number of ways, in which the different Boards could be brought on par with one another, to make sure that there are no differences, when it comes to admissions, and so that no one lags behind; but this system is definitely not the right way to do it.

As a facilitator of Education and a part of the system myself, this is just my two pence on the issue. I wonder if my point of view would have many takers in the Education Department though!!! 🤔

PROCRASTINATION : A COMPULSIVE HABIT ✍️

For a long time now, I've been meaning to update my blog. I mean it has been almost 3 months, since my last post; but despite having loads of free time at my disposal, I've kept saying, "I'll do it later". Somehow, over a period of time, I've got habituated to saying this. In the process, it has kind of become something, that I can't rid myself of. 

What makes matters worse, is that this habit of procrastinating and putting things off for later, has got so engrained in my system, that now I don't even think twice about it. This is probably one of the worst habits I've developed in my life; and one that I'm not very proud of.🤷🏻‍♀️

'Do not put off until tomorrow what can be done today'. 'Kaal kare so aaj kar, Aaj kare so ab'. 

I guess every language would have a whole list of proverbial sayings, that urge us not to procrastinate and put off things, which we must do now, for a later date. These are things we hear time and again from our parents and teachers, as we're growing up. How often we really follow these principles in our daily lives, is another matter completely.🤔

There's one thing that I've noticed in my own life. Very often, when I put things off for later, the job never gets done at all. Sometimes, it remains pending for so long, that after a period of time, I completely forget about it, and it just stays there - a job half-done, unfinished, incomplete. 

If the task remaining incomplete, doesn't really have major repurcussions on my work or isn't that important, it just remains in that state of 'partial completion' for a long, long time, which obviously provokes sharp criticism and censure from my mother, who constantly tries to keep this compulsive habit of mine in check.👵

I guess, landing up in situations like that occasionally, is not that much of a problem. I mean in the fast paced world that we live in, with all the deadlines and stress that goes along with it, there are bound to be things which are of secondary importance, which get relegated to last place, when we are chalking out our schedules. 

There would obviously not be sufficient time to complete seemingly inconsequential little tasks, and in the process, a few things would most certainly remain pending. A result of procrastination, yes; but it's something that we almost always conveniently attribute to the fact, that we were too busy; and then, rationalize things by saying, that it wasn't that important anyway.😉

When the things we put off for later, aren't that inconsequential though, that's when it gives us 'a wake-up call'.😔

Recently, I went through an experience, which made me sit up and evaluate my actions. A good friend of mine from college, had been sick and in hospital, for almost 6 months. I'd known of his illness and the seriousness of his condition, for almost 4 or 5 months. 

Each time, I thought of him, I kept telling myself, "I have to make the time to go and see him in hospital", and every time, there was always a reason, to postpone my visit. School work, corrections, other engagements; and the list of reasons went on. The desire to meet him was always there; but somehow there was no cure for my habit, to put things off for later.

Last week, he finally had a heart attack and passed away. A lively, chirpy life that had only seen 28 summers, came to a sudden end. 

On the morning of the day that he passed away, I asked myself one more time. "I still haven't gone to see him. I should go some time this week. I'm free from work now. This is the best time to go." Unfortunately, the best time to go never came, because later that afternoon, he passed away.😢

A couple of days later, I finally made it to see him. Unfortunately, all I got to see of him, was his lifeless body lying in a coffin, at his funeral. This wasn't the way, I had intended to see him. I didn't get a chance to hear his voice, or to see his bright smile. I missed out on the opportunity of talking to him; and letting him know, that I was praying for him to get better. 

I realised on that day, that sometimes postponing and deferring things for later; can put you in a situation where you miss out on things that are really, really important.

Of course, like every 'bad habit' that we develop in life, there's only one way to do away with it. Throw off that lethargy and just get down to business. Instead of saying, "I'll get to it when I find the time"; I guess, the easiest way to break this compulsive habit would be to just start doing the task at hand, right then and there. 

Of course, this is easier said than done. Breaking a bad habit is one of the toughest tasks, that human beings ever have to deal with. 

Now, if only I could instill that 'will power and determination' in myself, and begin every task, with the intention of going through with it, till it's done; and with no commas and semi-colons along the way, I think I would be a more organised individual, and my mother would definitely be a happier person. ✍️

THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR 😊💕

Just about a week ago, I experienced something that I'd never been through before. The sudden disappearance of a very close friend, completely took me by surprise. During the period when desperate attempts were being made to locate him, a whole gamut of emotions were playing havoc with my mind and heart. 

Along with the anxiety, there was the fear of the unknown. There was a tremendous sense of loss, there were feelings of uncertainty, and an overpowering sense of pain. His family and friends kept fearing the worst, but hoping for the best. The lack of definite bad news, constantly gave us hope, that there might be good news in store.

Three days later, his family managed to zero in on his location; and he was brought home. The fact that he was alive and well, was like music to our ears, because we had been longing for some news about his whereabouts for so long. 

The endless waiting during those three days, had been excruciating. I am only a friend, and I found it so difficult to bear the fact that he couldn't be traced. When I think of what his family must have experienced during those moments, it really makes me shudder.😔

When we finally received news that he had been found, I was completely overjoyed. Just the news that he was okay, made me feel like a huge weight was lifted off my heart.

It's been a week now, but I still haven't been able to meet this friend of mine; as he's still recovering from the experience. The joy in my heart though, just knowing that he's well, is indescribable. 

When I think about it, I just begin to wonder, at how some people become our friends sometimes. Till about 6 years ago, I didn't even know, that this person existed on the planet. We haven't been friends for very long; and yet, when he couldn't be found for those three days, I was so troubled. My mind was pre-occupied with thoughts of him, and I couldn't rest in peace, till he had finally been found. I realised, that friendships develop just like that.

Sometimes, in the shortest span of time, a person becomes really dear to you, and the reasons for this are inexplicable. 

In this short time that we've known one another, we've had some fun times, singing together in our choir and at our various outings and parties. We've shared a lot of laughs together, and sung a lot of songs as well. We've listened to endless stories of old times in Calcutta; and about his immense and deep love for music. We've been amazed, watching how talented he is in music; and we've been so proud, to call a little genious like him, our friend. Through every single one of these experiences, we've also grown as friends and our friendship has become special, with every passing day.

Of course, one underlying and deeply painful thought that this incident brings to mind, is the fact that so often, we know so little, about what our closest friends are actually going through in life. At so many times, we may have a faint inkling, that things aren't going too well, with a particular friend; but we can never fully fathom the depth of feelings, that are stirring up inside the minds of our friends, unless they open up a little, and share their life with us. 

An experience like this, made me wish I'd spoken or called more often, or that I'd been more of a friend; but then again, I wonder how much I would have really discovered, even if I had been around for my friend. After all, I would have known, only as much as my friend wanted me to know about his life.

All of us have things, that we don't talk about with everyone. Sometimes, we don't even share certain things, with our closest friends. In moments of crisis, our friends are always there to support us; and yet, we don't always reveal the deepest sentiments of our heart, to them.

Why is it that we human beings, prefer to keep things to ourselves so often? Even though we know that sorrow can be reduced greatly, when shared with a friend; why is it, that we prefer to bottle up our emotions? So many moments of depression and temporary loss of sanity, can be easily avoided, if we only find a friend we can talk to about our problems. Despite the fact that we know these things, why do we still try to be brave and face our problems on our own?🤔

I don't know what my friend was actually going through. I don't know whether I could have really been of any assistance, even if I did know. What I do know though is that henceforth, I'm going to try and be a better friend. I know that as a friend I will always be around a little more. I'm going to try and lend a listening ear, if there's ever a need for it...Maybe my friend may still not pour out his heart to me; but I'm going to make sure that I'm there, cause in the whole scheme of things, that's exactly what friends are for.💕

Thank You Lord for bringing my friend home safe and sound and for protecting him from every harm and danger. I pray that he may recover emotionally and psychologically, from this experience, as soon as possible; and that he may get back to being his bubbly little self once again, as soon as possible. Bless him abundantly in every possible way, and may he always know that he has a large number of friends, who love him very dearly and who want nothing more, than to see him happy.😊

WHAT IS THIS LIFE, SO FULL OF CARE? ✍️

How often have you heard the words, "I'm completely stressed out?" Much too often these days, don't you think? Almost every person we know, seems to be undergoing some kind of stressful situation or another. For a lot of people, the pressure at work seems to be a primary cause of stress, for others, tensions within the family and relationships seem to be a cause of concern. For still others, health related problems seem to be weighing them down completely. All in all, the fast paced over-competitive world we live in, seems to be taking it's toll on every single one of us; and we are definitely paying the price, for trying to fit in.

Those of you, who frequent this part of cyberspace occasionally, would have noticed my absence for a while. The reasons why I suddenly seem to have vanished, could be aptly described by saying, that I too have been completely stressed out and am one of the latest victims of this dreaded modern phenomenon. 

I tried really hard, not to allow the pressures of life to get to me; but like it happens so often, 'the spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak'.

Although I was trying my utmost, to let life get back on track, after an unexpected and fairly sudden loss of a loved one; I kept receiving reminders, that we can't just get on with life, without taking the time to rest and recover.

What I've realised in the process, is that so often we over-estimate the capacity of our body, to withstand an avalanche of successive stressful events, in our lives. We think we are capable of facing anything and everything, no matter how grave and severe it may be. In reality however, physically, we may not be as strong as we think we are.

My experiences over the past month or so, have shown me how important rest and relaxation really are, in this fast-paced world we live in. When we choose to disregard the warning signs our body gives us, it manifests itself in so many unimaginable ways. 

The most obvious beneficiaries in this entire situation though, are the doctors, who are ensured a steady flow of stressed out individuals, thanks to the fast-paced world we live in. Ironically, the large amounts of money that one has to shell out, to cover medical expenses these days, is also a significant cause of stress. So strangely, the stress-buster, has partially ended up becoming the generator of stress as well.

For me personally, stress was a result of deep personal loss, a tremendous amount of anxiety, cartloads of never-ending work and an underlying sense of worry, at not being able to fathom, why so many things were going wrong at one and the same time. 

What added to it was the fact, that one thing led to another, without any breathing space in between. Before I could recover from one thing, the second situation was already upon me in a flash, which undoubtedly aggravated an already delicate situation.

A lot of people consider stress, to be a pre-requisite and a necessity, to ensure that one performs to his optimum capacity; because it constantly keeps a person on his toes and doesn't leave any room, for slackness of any kind to seep in. Then again, when it begins to tell on your health, it should definitely act as a wake up call; because that's our body telling us that it has had enough, and we need to slow down, before there is a complete physical or emotional breakdown.

I'm glad I was able to recognise these warning signs at the right time, and act accordingly. With timely medical help and a reasonable amount of rest, I gradually seem to be getting back to normal. I just hope and pray that such health breakdowns do not happen too often, because it sure does affect one's ability to give one's best in every sphere of life. Not to mention, the continuous upheaval of emotions, that completely wreck havoc on one's day to day functioning. 

Truthfully, visiting doctors on a regular basis is not one of my favourite things; but much against my will, I've had to pay a visit to them quite frequently of late. I pray that the 'Doc of all Docs', will finally take hold of the reins of my life, so that things will gradually get back on track; and I can look forward to a better and brighter 2010, in the months ahead. ✍️

I WANDERED LONELY AS A CLOUD...✍️

It's a normal day. I wake up and go to school, like every other day. I enjoy teaching all morning. I spend the day talking to and spending time with my boys at school. 

The first part of the day, passes by really quickly. I jabber all day long with my boys and my colleagues, to my hearts content. We discuss every possible thing there is to talk about, and the day just breezes past, in the twinkling of an eye. 

I've realised that right through the morning, I am truly and genuinely happy. I am happy to be me. I am happy to work in the place that I do. I am happy to be able to share so much of my life, with everyone in school.😊

Before too long though, it's time to come home, and contrary to what everyone else thinks of 'Home' as, I would much rather spend the whole day at school, rather than coming home.

That's simply because 'Home' for me, equals solitude and peace; which I often feel I can do without. Home is a place, where I get a chance to spend time with myself, (which anyone else would long for, more than anything else).

Strangely, I would much rather prefer, spending time in the company of my boys at school, rather than lying around at home by myself, reflecting and contemplating. 

'Home', somehow doesn't make me as happy as it should. In fact, I find that my feelings go in a completely different direction, as the day progresses, and comes to an end. I become quieter and more reticent. I withdraw into myself and the bubbly 'me', that the whole world is used to, gradually disappears. I somehow seem to become a more grumpy person, when I'm at home; and the trademark smile, that brings joy to so many all day long, slowly goes into hiding.😔

It's often said, 'Home is where the heart is'. For me though, I guess things are the other way around. My 'School' is where my heart finds rest and peace and solitude; and the thought of home, fills me with a tremendous sense of isolation. 

It's strange but true. Home doesn't fill me, with as much joy as it should. It is not the best place to come back to, at the end of the day. 

Of course, this is not because my home is not a happy place. My parents are always there to talk to, and the T.V. and the computer are my constant companions, for the rest of the day. I also resort to that tiny little gadget called a cell phone, when I need to rid myself, of the lack of conversation. 

However, 'Home' somehow fills me with a lingering sense of 'Loneliness'. In those moments that I spend by myself, I keep feeling a sense of 'complete emptiness and utter dejection'. The second half of my day is a complete contrast to the first; as my world transforms itself, from a noisy chaos, to an absolute calmness.

I know it's often said, that if you keep yourself occupied, you'll never have time to be lonely. If you're always doing something with your time, you won't have any free time to worry about being all alone. 

According to me though, even if you're constantly occupied, there are always going to be some moments, when you are by yourself, with nothing to do. Even those few moments are enough to make you realize that this isn't the way life should be.

I often discuss the issue of the need for parents to have at least 2 kids, with my colleagues at work. At most times, I find myself the 'sole spokesperson' for this cause. Most people don't think it's really a necessity to have 2 kids these days. Most of them feel that 'friends', can make up for the lack of a sibling in one's life. 

From my own experience, of living practically 20 years of my life, without a sibling; I know for a fact, that friends or even your extended family, cannot make up for 'your own brother or sister'. 

Over the years, I've been blest with an innumerable amount of friends, many of whom are very special and dear to me. I have an extended family, that loves me tremendously. In the last 6 years, I've also been blest with a new family - my boys and colleagues at school, who make up 'My Entire World' at the moment.

...And yet, despite all that, I feel the way I do, when I'm by myself.

The reason for that is simple - Friends, Family, Colleagues, Students are all a very important part of my life and my world; but at the end of the day, 'I CAN'T TAKE THEM HOME WITH ME'. When the day draws to a close, I have to leave them all behind, and withdraw into that lonely space we all call 'Home'.😢

I wonder sometimes, am I Ungrateful? After being blest with so many dear friends, loving students and people in my life, who love me so much; am I wrong, to keep harping on the one thing that I don't have, time and again? Is it right, to keep wallowing in these feelings so often? 

There are so many, who aren't as blest as I am in so many ways...

Maybe I am wrong or maybe, I'm just 'Human'. In my human need for society, I just can't help longing for 'Companionship'.

I guess, it's this tremendous fear of loneliness, and the inability to live all alone for very long, that makes 'solitary confinement' such a powerful weapon, in the hands of law keepers, to help bring the very serious offenders to book. Being alone, truly is the worst way for a person to live his life. 

I only hope and pray that God helps me find a way to deal with my moments of loneliness, so that 'Home', will be a happier place to come back to, in future.✨️✍️

DIWALI BREAK 😊✍️

Diwali holidays for a teacher, brings with it the dreaded load of corrections. Bundles of papers that just never seem to end. Reading the same answers over and over again. Handwriting that occasionally drives one up the wall with irritation; and sometimes answers that defy logic completely. So basically, ever since I've been a teacher, Diwali Holidays haven't really been the best time to chill out and take a break.

Of course, the light at the end of this dark, never-ending tunnel though, are the 'School Tours' that I make it a point to go for every year, during this time. No doubt, going on these tours takes away a few precious days, from the time I would have been able to utilize, in finishing my corrections. However, by cutting down on my sleep and completely stressing myself out, I somehow try my best, to balance the two; simply because the joy these tours bring to me, makes it truly worth the effort.

So, am almost a week into my 3 week Diwali break. My corrections are far from over. I'm trying my level best, to make the optimum use of the time I have left, to finish the corrections, and do justice to every paper that I have to assess, at the same time. 

During this week, I've also been on my first tour for the year. I accompanied 75 of my X std boys and about 9 of my colleagues from work, to the 'susegaad' and laid-back land of the scorching sun, GOA, for about 3-4 days.🌊🌴

Right through this trip though, I found myself experiencing a tremendous sense of deja vu at every step of the way. The reason for this was that I'd gone on the same tour, stayed at the same hotel, and visited the same spots, just a year ago, with the previous batch of students. 

So, almost every experience seemed like a repetition of the previous year. I kept seeing flashes of moments, from last years trip, everywhere I went. The jokes, the faces of the students from the previous batch, the unforgettable memories, kept popping into my head from time to time. I had such an amazing time the previous year, that just a day into the trip, I began to wonder; whether this trip, would be able to match up to it at all.🤔

Thankfully, I've been blest with a personality, that enables me to have fun in whatever situation I'm in. So, despite the uncertainty in my mind, about how this trip would turn out; I actually ended up having loads and loads of fun. 

Breaking the ice with the boys took a little longer this time. I guess the reason for this, was the fact that I hadn't taught these boys, for about two years before this. So, our interaction over the past couple of years, had been limited; and during this year, had been largely restricted to the classroom, which isn't very informal. Of course, while on a trip, I make it a point to have fun, no matter what; and I guess that's exactly what I did.

What I enjoyed most about this trip was the fact that we teachers got a chance to interact with the boys, in a way that is a little difficult at school. When at school, stricter rules have to be followed; and discipline has to be maintained, to ensure the smooth functioning of the institution. On a tour like this, the rules can be relaxed to a certain extent; and the interaction can become a little more informal than it is in school. 

I thoroughly enjoyed all the fun moments singing, joking and laughing together. The secrets that were let out of the bag during this trip, caused the boys a lot of grief; because things that were only between them and their friends, had now become common knowledge, and their school teachers had also become aware of them. 

Of course, they need not fear cause once we get back from a trip, our lips are sealed. On the contrary though, I think these admissions and confessions only gave us an opportunity, to see our boys in a completely different light. We got to see a side of them, that we didn't really expect.😊

Having taught this particular batch of boys from Classes 5-7, I'd always thought of them as little kids. When I joined the school way back in 2004, they were just chintus in the V Std. Somehow,I didn't get a chance to teach them in Classes 8 and 9; and so, now in Class 10, there suddenly seemed to be a gap, not just in our interaction with one another, but also in my perception of them. 

The same boys that I'd only perceived as little kids had now grown up and there seemed to be two whole years of their growing up, that I had missed along the way; thereby making it difficult for me to understand, how much they'd grown and changed over the past couple of years. This batch also has a lot of students, that I'm teaching for the very first time this year; again a reason, for almost no interaction beyond the classroom, in the last 5 years.

I guess, this lack of interaction though, actually ended up being a blessing in disguise. What I really enjoyed about this trip was discovering so much more about my boys. I was introduced to them, their lives, their mischief, their thoughts, their dreams, their world; and these are all things, that are very difficult to discover, within the four walls of the classroom. 

I'm very grateful to God for giving me this opportunity to go on a trip like this once again, because it's moments like these, that make me happy to be a teacher. 

Moments that I can spend in the company of my boys. 

Moments when we can share a laugh together. Moments when we actually get a chance to become a part of one another's lives, to a very small extent. 

I thank God for blessing me with special moments like these, every once in a while. 

My boys will pass out of school within the next few months; but it is the memories of these special moments, that I will savour and cherish forever.

...And I hope and pray that they will remember us and these moments, for a long time as well. Thanks to all the boys who accompanied us on this trip, for making it a memorable one.✨️❤️

MAKING A DIFFERENCE JUST BY BEING ME ✨️❤️

This is the 6th time I'm celebrating 'TEACHERS DAY', ever since I started teaching. It's one of the most anticipated days in the life of any teacher, primarily because it is the one day in the entire academic year, when we get a chance to actually experience, an outpouring of love from all our students, through the various aspects of the celebration in school. 

The flowers, the gifts and the innumerable little cards, many of which are lovingly handmade or painstakingly picked out by our students. The stage performances that our students put up just for us, and all the numerous ways in which, they try to demonstrate their love for us, are enough to make us feel on 'top of the world'. Year after year, the students try their level best to show us how much we mean to them, and every year, their efforts really make our day.

This year too, brought with it the usual 'secretive preparations'. The students in my own class were simply amazing; and the lovely personalised messages written by every single student, made me feel like I was on Cloud Nine. 

The celebrations that followed in school were also quite entertaining. 

The appreciation I received from the X Std. boys by way of awards, was slightly overwhelming, because I just couldn't imagine, that I had made such a strong impact on all of them. There are times when accepting an award, in front of your more experienced colleagues, can prove to be a little embarrassing; and I did experience a little of that embarrassment, as I went up to receive those certificates. Of course, it only made me want to strive to work that much harder, to live up to the faith and confidence my boys had shown in me. 

I'm grateful to every single one of them for making me feel so extra special. I'd like to thank them, for the tremendous love they shower on me. It's that love which makes me 'Grateful to have been Chosen, to be a Teacher', every single day of my life.✨️💕

Despite the wonderful celebrations, that we had in school this year though, I found myself feeling a little low right through the day. I kept asking myself, why I wasn't feeling like my usual chirpy self. There was definitely something that seemed to be missing. 

During the course of the day, I realised that the reason I was feeling so low, was because I was missing my 'older ex-students', a lot this Teacher's Day. My mind kept going back to all the Teachers Day celebrations, of the past years; and the faces of students from the past years, kept flashing before my eyes. 

While I appreciate the efforts of the present students, I just couldn't help remembering the ex-students who've now branched out, into so many different fields, and are doing well wherever they are. I really missed them and wondered, whether they were thinking of us too. There was a sense of longing for the days of old, and a wish that I could see those special students once more.

I guess God has ways of answering our prayers, when he knows we're wishing for something really hard; and before long, my inboxes on my phone and on the internet, were inundated with sms's and messages, from so many, many ex-students, that it absolutely made me feel on 'top of the world', once again.😄

Every single message was heartfelt. Some of these messages came from students, who had passed out 3-4 years ago; and so the fact that they still thought of me today, made me feel really special. A number of messages, talked about the impact I'd had on their lives; and these, almost brought tears to my eyes.

Compared to many of my senior colleagues, I'm still a 'fledgling teacher'; but just to think that in this short time as a teacher, I had been able to touch so many lives, made me so glad that I've chosen to be a teacher. 

I don't consider myself to be exceptionally gifted; and I don't even think of myself as being better than my other colleagues. What I have been blest with though, is the ability to 'Make A Difference', simply by being me, and that is what I'm grateful for.❤️

I can't end this post without saying a big 'Thank You' to all my students, both past and present. It's because of you, that I am what I am today. You've helped me become the 'Best Teacher' that I can be. 

Of course, to the Heavenly Father above, who is my Guide, at every step of the way in life, Thank You for giving me an opportunity, to mould and form so many young lives. Help me to fondly cherish every student, that you place in my care, and to always work as hard as I can, to fulfill the plan, that you have for me in my life as a teacher. Looking forward to all the years of touching young lives ahead.😊✍️

THE WEEK THAT WAS ✍️

Last week, was seven days full of absolute paranoia and chaos. Media-generated mass hysteria over the flu, that was spreading its deadly tentacles over the world at large, made a city full of sane people, panic. 

A couple of days ago, a journalist in the TOI very rightly described the situation, as being 'AN INFORMATION PANDEMIC', because the information being given out by the media caused more damage than the sickness itself.

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. The events of this previous week were proof of that very saying. Supposed preventive steps were taken by political parties, institutions, the government and the common man at large, as a result of the information being dished out to us, by sensation hungry journalists.

Thankfully, a week later, after every educational institution in the city, has lost out on an entire week (in my personal opinion, unnecessarily), and children and college students all over the city, have enjoyed an unexpected mid-term break (which is only going to make life more difficult for them, in the months ahead), things seem to be gradually returning to normalcy. 

The flu is still going about doing its business, but hopefully, in the weeks and months ahead, better sense will prevail and the frenzy, which caused the surge in human knee-jerk reactions, will gradually ebb.

To a person who has suffered, or lost a family member to this fatal virus, my point of view may seem inhuman and slightly heartless. Only a person, who actually undergoes such a situation, can understand how painful and stressful things can really be. 

However, I'm only trying to be a little objective, in a situation where an entire city full of sensible people, seemed to have completely lost their sense of objectivity and basic common sense, as a result of what they were bombarded with, by many sections of the media.

My bone of contention really, is not so much with the common man's reaction to the situation. I was really peeved with the media, for the manner in which this situation was completely blown out of proportion, by almost every single one of them. 

Of course, many news channels, did try to present a sensible approach, by bringing in doctors to give the right kind of advice to people, and to answer the queries of the common man. 

However, the way in which the 'BREAKING NEWS' runner, kept flashing the number of deaths on those very same channels (in about the same way as they count votes during their election coverage, or flash the scores of a cricket match), didn't really do much to allay people's fears.

There was a time during my college days, when I was very seriously contemplating being a journalist. It was one of the two 'Career Choices', that I had in mind for myself. 

Today, when I see how the irresponsibility of the media can have such far-reaching consequences; I'm glad I opted not to be one.

With the steady increase of news channels, the competitive spirit and wanting to be the first to give an 'EXCLUSIVE' report, seems to have tossed 'Responsible Journalism' into oblivion.

This isn't the first time the media is being accused of this. Over time, it seems to be becoming a habit; and the effects of this habit, seem to be adversely affecting the common man, which obviously includes the families of the media-persons themselves.

I don't know, if this post will be read by too many journalists; but if some of them do happen to chance upon my thoughts, I hope it will at least lead them to think about, how every word they telecast on their channels, or that gets into newsprint, is often accepted as the 'Gospel Truth' by a large section of the public. Therefore, they definitely should, in good conscience, think about what they say and how they present the facts, before they let the words leave their mouths or their pen. ✍️

TO ERR IS HUMAN...TO FORGIVE, DIVINE!!! ✍️

Life presents us with a lot of different situations, and in the week just gone by, I underwent one such harrowing experience. On the face of it, it might seem like a normal situation that could arise at any workplace, from time to time. However, only the one who has to go through it, actually understands the depth of emotion, that accompanies every such situation.

An 'honest mistake' or what could be termed as an 'oversight' on my part, snowballed into a situation, where a few not so nice accusations, were levelled against me. Doubts regarding my intentions and loyalty, were raised in the minds of all concerned. An 'unnecessary rift' was created among my co-workers, and a lot of things that could have been avoided, were said in the process.

The situation caused me immense pain and an incredible amount of uncalled for stress. I literally cried my heart out, for 2-3 days. For a few days, I didn't want to have even a chance encounter or conversation, with the persons concerned; because I didn't want to re-live all the emotional stress I'd been going through.😔

In short, for the first time in 5 years, I faced a situation, where things were totally out of hand at work. In the midst of this, I sorely missed the presence, of the head of the institution, who happens to be out of the country at the moment, because I just felt, that I could've turned to him for counsel, if he was around.

I've never been a person to make a mountain of a molehill. So, under normal circumstances, I would have probably 'let it go completely'. However, when my entire system of beliefs was questioned, I needed to take a stand. I do not know, if the decision that I have taken, will prove to be injurious to my own well-being, in the long run. I do not know if it will forever sour relationships, with those that I hold in high regard. But one thing I do know, is that there are some times in life, when we have to do what we think is right, even if the world tells us to do otherwise.🤷🏻‍♀️

This experience though, has shown me how even the most upsetting situation, can sometimes teach you something valuable. It has also reinforced something, that I've been taught right from the time I was a little kid. 

So many times, when I've gone to church, I've heard Gospel readings and sermons, about 'Forgiveness'. As a Sunday School teacher myself, for so many years, I have also taught others, about this all important value, of not carrying grudges against people.

All this while, this was merely theory. Now, life had presented me with a situation, where I had a chance, to put these pearls of wisdom into practice. 

However, doing what I firmly believe in, and wanting to give someone a second chance, was not in line, with what some of my colleagues and superiors expected of me. 

The result, was conflicting points of view, and the creation of two separate camps; each seeing things, according to how they perceived the situation.

My decision to follow my heart and the path of forgiveness, taught to me by my faith, may prove to be the wrong one in the future. Giving someone a 'second chance' and hoping for the best, may eventually land me in a soup.

However, not making this decision would mean that I am being prejudiced, and continuing to hold a grudge against someone, for an extended period of time. In the long run, this would only prove to be detrimental, to my own health and sanity.

The mistake I made was completely unintentional; but I guess, there are 'no real accidents' in our life. Probably God let it happen on purpose, for a reason. 

While I follow the path taught by Jesus himself, for a while, I may lose the warmth of friendship, of a few that I hold dear. However, I can only pray for them, that they may be able to see, what their own past experiences, are preventing them from seeing. 

The basic fact is, that to err is only human, but to forgive is divine. I definitely don't claim to be a saint, and given another situation, I might do completely the opposite; but in this case, I'm happy to have chosen the path I'm on; and I can only pray, that Love and Forgiveness may conquer all. ✨️✍️

ON A NIGHT LIKE THIS... ✍️

I usually never have a problem falling asleep. Once I hit the bed, I’m on a trip to dreamland, within minutes. 

Over the past few weeks though, I find myself laying awake in the dark, on more than a few occasions. I guess, I’ve had a lot of things on my mind. Most often, I just toss and turn for a while, till I force myself to sleep. 

However, when it’s a full moon night like today, I look out of my window, and stare at the moon. Somehow, it seems to be keeping me company; and just looking at it shining down on me, fills me with some strange kind of comfort.😊

Today was one such night; and not being able to sleep, I decided to switch on the computer and update my blog. I hadn’t even sat before the computer for a minute, when it began to rain.

My aunt had called up from Goa earlier this evening, and told me that it was raining pretty heavily in Goa today. So, just a little while back, I wondered how long it would be, before the rains arrived in Mumbai. 

I was so glad to hear the rain outside my window. I wanted to shout aloud, “Wake up everyone! It’s raining!!!” Of course, if I did that at midnight, people in my building would think I’ve lost my mind.😄

So, on this sleepless night, when the moon is shining down in all it’s spendour, despite the dark rain clouds in the sky; I find myself just wondering, how the forces of nature, affect us so much. 

The intense humidity this year, has been making everyone so miserable, that just the sound of the rain, can makes us jump for joy.

How anxiously we wait all year round for the monsoon! Of course, it won’t be long, before everyone starts grumbling, about the muck and the dirt all around, during the rains; but still at the onset, it holds the place of a long awaited guest, that we welcome with wide and open arms.☔️

As I look up at the moon, I wonder how many others, must be looking up at it, right at this very moment, all over the world. What must be going through the minds of all those people, as they look up at that bright light, in the night sky? 

To some it may be a symbol of loss and longing, to others it may be a reminder of someone they love very dearly, to another it may just be a companion on a dark, lonely night; and to someone else, it may just be a friend.💕

We human beings have been blest with the gift of such an amazing imagination, that we can attribute almost any feeling or emotion, to the most inanimate and distant things.

The rain is something that’s bound to pour down on us, year after year, at around this time, because that’s the order of the cycle of seasons. That’s the way, it’s meant to be...And yet today, like a long lost friend, it brought a 'smile to my face', on a dark and restless night.

The moon is but a satellite, and shining down on earth, is what it has been programmed to do, on a regular basis. Tonight however, like on many other nights like these, it seemed to be 'someone I could communicate with'. Strange as it may sound, it seemed to talk to me like a close companion and a friend.✨️✍️

MY REASON TO SMILE 😊💕

I’m sure everyone has heard the saying, ‘The grass is always greener on the other side.’ I got a chance to experience that in this past one month. 

What a month this has been!!! It’s the month of May; and it’s an unusually hot and exceptionally humid one this year. The heat is driving everyone up the wall. Thankfully, since I’m on holidays, I don’t really need to venture out into the sun that often, which is really a blessing in some ways. 

Strangely though, I find myself envying those people who don’t have to stay at home. I even went to school 3-4 times this month, with no particular purpose. Just went, because I was too bored to sit at home. There was hardly anyone around; but I went anyway. 

I’ve also become exceptionally grumpy this month, probably because I don’t have a lot of people around me, to jabber with all day long, which is something I’m really a master at normally. I somehow seem to have lost my 'chirpy self' during this one month, in the wilderness of free time. When you have so much of it, you don’t know what to do with it, and it kind of weighs down on you.

‘Why are you complaining about holidays and free time?’, is what anyone would be tempted to ask. ‘It’s a blessing. At a time when everyone longs for a break, you’re actually getting a really long one, and you’re unhappy about it!!! What in the world is wrong with you???’

These are obvious statements and questions that anyone is bound to ask, in response to my grumbling.

So, am I ungrateful for a 'blessing', that I am so privileged to enjoy, year after year??? Am I stupid to be grumpy when anyone else in my place would be rejoicing???🤔

The answer – ‘I’m just human!!!’ 

One of the first statements, in our old community living and later, sociology text books used to be, ‘Man is a social animal and he needs to live in society, to live a healthy and happy life.’ 

Over the last five years, my closest 'community', other than my parents, has been the people at my work place. I spend the larger part of my day, with my colleagues in school and my boys; and when I come home, I spend the latter half of the day, talking about everything that happened in school. 

So, when I have to stay away from that community, for the first part of the day; I find myself at a loss for words, in the latter half of the day as well, because I have nothing to talk about.🤷🏻‍♀️

My mum pointed out to me a few days ago, that I seem to be talking about school, after every two sentences. Somehow or the other, the conversation that we have, always ends up going back to someone or something related to school. 

It made me realize, how closely connected I have become to my 'family at work'. My life practically revolves around my school and everything associated with it; and taken away from that set-up, even for a brief period of one month, I feel handicapped. I feel like a plant, plucked out of its natural habitat and forced to thrive elsewhere.😔

I’m on holidays; but despite that, I’m not the best person to be around these days, because I’m 'grumpy', and seem to be a little 'cranky' as well. 

When I’m at school, every day is a new day, with countless new experiences at every step. Contrary to that, the last month has been largely uneventful, and lacking in mirth. There’ve been a few happy moments; but there seemed to be something, that was hindering that joy from bursting forth. 

When you don’t have much to do with your time, you begin to spend that time thinking; but I guess too much of thinking, can make you lose your mind. I guess that’s what I’ve encountered during this break.🙄

I usually spend my holidays, out on a school trip. So, even though technically I’m on holiday, I’m still with my extended family; and so I don’t feel so lost. This year, I spent the entire month at home…No trip, No holiday, No outings. My only contact with my extended family, was the computer and the phone, which did keep me connected to a few colleagues and students; but I guess it cannot substantially make up, for what I have when school is on.

I did try to catch up on my reading, and tried to sort out the mess in my room, which was long overdue; but these are all tasks, that one has to do alone...and living 'a solitary existence', is not exactly my idea of a 'Life'. 

I need people around me, to bring some noise and laughter into my world. 

I need voices around me, to counter the loneliness within. 

I need my boys around me, to fill my days with smiles. 

Without them, I feel that life itself is a drag.

So, have I got too attached to my family at work?...Yes, I think I have. I’ve always been a person, who doesn’t need a big reason to be happy. Now I realize, that I don’t need a reason to be happy because 'my reason to smile', is always around me; and it’s only when I’m forced to be away from them, that I feel incomplete.

I really thank God for my family at school – my Principal (who I will miss dearly), my colleagues of course (who’re my closest friends these days); but most of all, my boys (both past and present). 

All of you together, make me the person that I am. YOU COMPLETE ME...THANK YOU!!!✨️❤️