WHAT IS THIS LIFE, SO FULL OF CARE? ✍️

How often have you heard the words, "I'm completely stressed out?" Much too often these days, don't you think? Almost every person we know, seems to be undergoing some kind of stressful situation or another. For a lot of people, the pressure at work seems to be a primary cause of stress, for others, tensions within the family and relationships seem to be a cause of concern. For still others, health related problems seem to be weighing them down completely. All in all, the fast paced over-competitive world we live in, seems to be taking it's toll on every single one of us; and we are definitely paying the price, for trying to fit in.

Those of you, who frequent this part of cyberspace occasionally, would have noticed my absence for a while. The reasons why I suddenly seem to have vanished, could be aptly described by saying, that I too have been completely stressed out and am one of the latest victims of this dreaded modern phenomenon. 

I tried really hard, not to allow the pressures of life to get to me; but like it happens so often, 'the spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak'.

Although I was trying my utmost, to let life get back on track, after an unexpected and fairly sudden loss of a loved one; I kept receiving reminders, that we can't just get on with life, without taking the time to rest and recover.

What I've realised in the process, is that so often we over-estimate the capacity of our body, to withstand an avalanche of successive stressful events, in our lives. We think we are capable of facing anything and everything, no matter how grave and severe it may be. In reality however, physically, we may not be as strong as we think we are.

My experiences over the past month or so, have shown me how important rest and relaxation really are, in this fast-paced world we live in. When we choose to disregard the warning signs our body gives us, it manifests itself in so many unimaginable ways. 

The most obvious beneficiaries in this entire situation though, are the doctors, who are ensured a steady flow of stressed out individuals, thanks to the fast-paced world we live in. Ironically, the large amounts of money that one has to shell out, to cover medical expenses these days, is also a significant cause of stress. So strangely, the stress-buster, has partially ended up becoming the generator of stress as well.

For me personally, stress was a result of deep personal loss, a tremendous amount of anxiety, cartloads of never-ending work and an underlying sense of worry, at not being able to fathom, why so many things were going wrong at one and the same time. 

What added to it was the fact, that one thing led to another, without any breathing space in between. Before I could recover from one thing, the second situation was already upon me in a flash, which undoubtedly aggravated an already delicate situation.

A lot of people consider stress, to be a pre-requisite and a necessity, to ensure that one performs to his optimum capacity; because it constantly keeps a person on his toes and doesn't leave any room, for slackness of any kind to seep in. Then again, when it begins to tell on your health, it should definitely act as a wake up call; because that's our body telling us that it has had enough, and we need to slow down, before there is a complete physical or emotional breakdown.

I'm glad I was able to recognise these warning signs at the right time, and act accordingly. With timely medical help and a reasonable amount of rest, I gradually seem to be getting back to normal. I just hope and pray that such health breakdowns do not happen too often, because it sure does affect one's ability to give one's best in every sphere of life. Not to mention, the continuous upheaval of emotions, that completely wreck havoc on one's day to day functioning. 

Truthfully, visiting doctors on a regular basis is not one of my favourite things; but much against my will, I've had to pay a visit to them quite frequently of late. I pray that the 'Doc of all Docs', will finally take hold of the reins of my life, so that things will gradually get back on track; and I can look forward to a better and brighter 2010, in the months ahead. ✍️

I WANDERED LONELY AS A CLOUD...✍️

It's a normal day. I wake up and go to school, like every other day. I enjoy teaching all morning. I spend the day talking to and spending time with my boys at school. 

The first part of the day, passes by really quickly. I jabber all day long with my boys and my colleagues, to my hearts content. We discuss every possible thing there is to talk about, and the day just breezes past, in the twinkling of an eye. 

I've realised that right through the morning, I am truly and genuinely happy. I am happy to be me. I am happy to work in the place that I do. I am happy to be able to share so much of my life, with everyone in school.😊

Before too long though, it's time to come home, and contrary to what everyone else thinks of 'Home' as, I would much rather spend the whole day at school, rather than coming home.

That's simply because 'Home' for me, equals solitude and peace; which I often feel I can do without. Home is a place, where I get a chance to spend time with myself, (which anyone else would long for, more than anything else).

Strangely, I would much rather prefer, spending time in the company of my boys at school, rather than lying around at home by myself, reflecting and contemplating. 

'Home', somehow doesn't make me as happy as it should. In fact, I find that my feelings go in a completely different direction, as the day progresses, and comes to an end. I become quieter and more reticent. I withdraw into myself and the bubbly 'me', that the whole world is used to, gradually disappears. I somehow seem to become a more grumpy person, when I'm at home; and the trademark smile, that brings joy to so many all day long, slowly goes into hiding.😔

It's often said, 'Home is where the heart is'. For me though, I guess things are the other way around. My 'School' is where my heart finds rest and peace and solitude; and the thought of home, fills me with a tremendous sense of isolation. 

It's strange but true. Home doesn't fill me, with as much joy as it should. It is not the best place to come back to, at the end of the day. 

Of course, this is not because my home is not a happy place. My parents are always there to talk to, and the T.V. and the computer are my constant companions, for the rest of the day. I also resort to that tiny little gadget called a cell phone, when I need to rid myself, of the lack of conversation. 

However, 'Home' somehow fills me with a lingering sense of 'Loneliness'. In those moments that I spend by myself, I keep feeling a sense of 'complete emptiness and utter dejection'. The second half of my day is a complete contrast to the first; as my world transforms itself, from a noisy chaos, to an absolute calmness.

I know it's often said, that if you keep yourself occupied, you'll never have time to be lonely. If you're always doing something with your time, you won't have any free time to worry about being all alone. 

According to me though, even if you're constantly occupied, there are always going to be some moments, when you are by yourself, with nothing to do. Even those few moments are enough to make you realize that this isn't the way life should be.

I often discuss the issue of the need for parents to have at least 2 kids, with my colleagues at work. At most times, I find myself the 'sole spokesperson' for this cause. Most people don't think it's really a necessity to have 2 kids these days. Most of them feel that 'friends', can make up for the lack of a sibling in one's life. 

From my own experience, of living practically 20 years of my life, without a sibling; I know for a fact, that friends or even your extended family, cannot make up for 'your own brother or sister'. 

Over the years, I've been blest with an innumerable amount of friends, many of whom are very special and dear to me. I have an extended family, that loves me tremendously. In the last 6 years, I've also been blest with a new family - my boys and colleagues at school, who make up 'My Entire World' at the moment.

...And yet, despite all that, I feel the way I do, when I'm by myself.

The reason for that is simple - Friends, Family, Colleagues, Students are all a very important part of my life and my world; but at the end of the day, 'I CAN'T TAKE THEM HOME WITH ME'. When the day draws to a close, I have to leave them all behind, and withdraw into that lonely space we all call 'Home'.😢

I wonder sometimes, am I Ungrateful? After being blest with so many dear friends, loving students and people in my life, who love me so much; am I wrong, to keep harping on the one thing that I don't have, time and again? Is it right, to keep wallowing in these feelings so often? 

There are so many, who aren't as blest as I am in so many ways...

Maybe I am wrong or maybe, I'm just 'Human'. In my human need for society, I just can't help longing for 'Companionship'.

I guess, it's this tremendous fear of loneliness, and the inability to live all alone for very long, that makes 'solitary confinement' such a powerful weapon, in the hands of law keepers, to help bring the very serious offenders to book. Being alone, truly is the worst way for a person to live his life. 

I only hope and pray that God helps me find a way to deal with my moments of loneliness, so that 'Home', will be a happier place to come back to, in future.✨️✍️

DIWALI BREAK 😊✍️

Diwali holidays for a teacher, brings with it the dreaded load of corrections. Bundles of papers that just never seem to end. Reading the same answers over and over again. Handwriting that occasionally drives one up the wall with irritation; and sometimes answers that defy logic completely. So basically, ever since I've been a teacher, Diwali Holidays haven't really been the best time to chill out and take a break.

Of course, the light at the end of this dark, never-ending tunnel though, are the 'School Tours' that I make it a point to go for every year, during this time. No doubt, going on these tours takes away a few precious days, from the time I would have been able to utilize, in finishing my corrections. However, by cutting down on my sleep and completely stressing myself out, I somehow try my best, to balance the two; simply because the joy these tours bring to me, makes it truly worth the effort.

So, am almost a week into my 3 week Diwali break. My corrections are far from over. I'm trying my level best, to make the optimum use of the time I have left, to finish the corrections, and do justice to every paper that I have to assess, at the same time. 

During this week, I've also been on my first tour for the year. I accompanied 75 of my X std boys and about 9 of my colleagues from work, to the 'susegaad' and laid-back land of the scorching sun, GOA, for about 3-4 days.🌊🌴

Right through this trip though, I found myself experiencing a tremendous sense of deja vu at every step of the way. The reason for this was that I'd gone on the same tour, stayed at the same hotel, and visited the same spots, just a year ago, with the previous batch of students. 

So, almost every experience seemed like a repetition of the previous year. I kept seeing flashes of moments, from last years trip, everywhere I went. The jokes, the faces of the students from the previous batch, the unforgettable memories, kept popping into my head from time to time. I had such an amazing time the previous year, that just a day into the trip, I began to wonder; whether this trip, would be able to match up to it at all.🤔

Thankfully, I've been blest with a personality, that enables me to have fun in whatever situation I'm in. So, despite the uncertainty in my mind, about how this trip would turn out; I actually ended up having loads and loads of fun. 

Breaking the ice with the boys took a little longer this time. I guess the reason for this, was the fact that I hadn't taught these boys, for about two years before this. So, our interaction over the past couple of years, had been limited; and during this year, had been largely restricted to the classroom, which isn't very informal. Of course, while on a trip, I make it a point to have fun, no matter what; and I guess that's exactly what I did.

What I enjoyed most about this trip was the fact that we teachers got a chance to interact with the boys, in a way that is a little difficult at school. When at school, stricter rules have to be followed; and discipline has to be maintained, to ensure the smooth functioning of the institution. On a tour like this, the rules can be relaxed to a certain extent; and the interaction can become a little more informal than it is in school. 

I thoroughly enjoyed all the fun moments singing, joking and laughing together. The secrets that were let out of the bag during this trip, caused the boys a lot of grief; because things that were only between them and their friends, had now become common knowledge, and their school teachers had also become aware of them. 

Of course, they need not fear cause once we get back from a trip, our lips are sealed. On the contrary though, I think these admissions and confessions only gave us an opportunity, to see our boys in a completely different light. We got to see a side of them, that we didn't really expect.😊

Having taught this particular batch of boys from Classes 5-7, I'd always thought of them as little kids. When I joined the school way back in 2004, they were just chintus in the V Std. Somehow,I didn't get a chance to teach them in Classes 8 and 9; and so, now in Class 10, there suddenly seemed to be a gap, not just in our interaction with one another, but also in my perception of them. 

The same boys that I'd only perceived as little kids had now grown up and there seemed to be two whole years of their growing up, that I had missed along the way; thereby making it difficult for me to understand, how much they'd grown and changed over the past couple of years. This batch also has a lot of students, that I'm teaching for the very first time this year; again a reason, for almost no interaction beyond the classroom, in the last 5 years.

I guess, this lack of interaction though, actually ended up being a blessing in disguise. What I really enjoyed about this trip was discovering so much more about my boys. I was introduced to them, their lives, their mischief, their thoughts, their dreams, their world; and these are all things, that are very difficult to discover, within the four walls of the classroom. 

I'm very grateful to God for giving me this opportunity to go on a trip like this once again, because it's moments like these, that make me happy to be a teacher. 

Moments that I can spend in the company of my boys. 

Moments when we can share a laugh together. Moments when we actually get a chance to become a part of one another's lives, to a very small extent. 

I thank God for blessing me with special moments like these, every once in a while. 

My boys will pass out of school within the next few months; but it is the memories of these special moments, that I will savour and cherish forever.

...And I hope and pray that they will remember us and these moments, for a long time as well. Thanks to all the boys who accompanied us on this trip, for making it a memorable one.✨️❤️

MAKING A DIFFERENCE JUST BY BEING ME ✨️❤️

This is the 6th time I'm celebrating 'TEACHERS DAY', ever since I started teaching. It's one of the most anticipated days in the life of any teacher, primarily because it is the one day in the entire academic year, when we get a chance to actually experience, an outpouring of love from all our students, through the various aspects of the celebration in school. 

The flowers, the gifts and the innumerable little cards, many of which are lovingly handmade or painstakingly picked out by our students. The stage performances that our students put up just for us, and all the numerous ways in which, they try to demonstrate their love for us, are enough to make us feel on 'top of the world'. Year after year, the students try their level best to show us how much we mean to them, and every year, their efforts really make our day.

This year too, brought with it the usual 'secretive preparations'. The students in my own class were simply amazing; and the lovely personalised messages written by every single student, made me feel like I was on Cloud Nine. 

The celebrations that followed in school were also quite entertaining. 

The appreciation I received from the X Std. boys by way of awards, was slightly overwhelming, because I just couldn't imagine, that I had made such a strong impact on all of them. There are times when accepting an award, in front of your more experienced colleagues, can prove to be a little embarrassing; and I did experience a little of that embarrassment, as I went up to receive those certificates. Of course, it only made me want to strive to work that much harder, to live up to the faith and confidence my boys had shown in me. 

I'm grateful to every single one of them for making me feel so extra special. I'd like to thank them, for the tremendous love they shower on me. It's that love which makes me 'Grateful to have been Chosen, to be a Teacher', every single day of my life.✨️💕

Despite the wonderful celebrations, that we had in school this year though, I found myself feeling a little low right through the day. I kept asking myself, why I wasn't feeling like my usual chirpy self. There was definitely something that seemed to be missing. 

During the course of the day, I realised that the reason I was feeling so low, was because I was missing my 'older ex-students', a lot this Teacher's Day. My mind kept going back to all the Teachers Day celebrations, of the past years; and the faces of students from the past years, kept flashing before my eyes. 

While I appreciate the efforts of the present students, I just couldn't help remembering the ex-students who've now branched out, into so many different fields, and are doing well wherever they are. I really missed them and wondered, whether they were thinking of us too. There was a sense of longing for the days of old, and a wish that I could see those special students once more.

I guess God has ways of answering our prayers, when he knows we're wishing for something really hard; and before long, my inboxes on my phone and on the internet, were inundated with sms's and messages, from so many, many ex-students, that it absolutely made me feel on 'top of the world', once again.😄

Every single message was heartfelt. Some of these messages came from students, who had passed out 3-4 years ago; and so the fact that they still thought of me today, made me feel really special. A number of messages, talked about the impact I'd had on their lives; and these, almost brought tears to my eyes.

Compared to many of my senior colleagues, I'm still a 'fledgling teacher'; but just to think that in this short time as a teacher, I had been able to touch so many lives, made me so glad that I've chosen to be a teacher. 

I don't consider myself to be exceptionally gifted; and I don't even think of myself as being better than my other colleagues. What I have been blest with though, is the ability to 'Make A Difference', simply by being me, and that is what I'm grateful for.❤️

I can't end this post without saying a big 'Thank You' to all my students, both past and present. It's because of you, that I am what I am today. You've helped me become the 'Best Teacher' that I can be. 

Of course, to the Heavenly Father above, who is my Guide, at every step of the way in life, Thank You for giving me an opportunity, to mould and form so many young lives. Help me to fondly cherish every student, that you place in my care, and to always work as hard as I can, to fulfill the plan, that you have for me in my life as a teacher. Looking forward to all the years of touching young lives ahead.😊✍️

THE WEEK THAT WAS ✍️

Last week, was seven days full of absolute paranoia and chaos. Media-generated mass hysteria over the flu, that was spreading its deadly tentacles over the world at large, made a city full of sane people, panic. 

A couple of days ago, a journalist in the TOI very rightly described the situation, as being 'AN INFORMATION PANDEMIC', because the information being given out by the media caused more damage than the sickness itself.

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. The events of this previous week were proof of that very saying. Supposed preventive steps were taken by political parties, institutions, the government and the common man at large, as a result of the information being dished out to us, by sensation hungry journalists.

Thankfully, a week later, after every educational institution in the city, has lost out on an entire week (in my personal opinion, unnecessarily), and children and college students all over the city, have enjoyed an unexpected mid-term break (which is only going to make life more difficult for them, in the months ahead), things seem to be gradually returning to normalcy. 

The flu is still going about doing its business, but hopefully, in the weeks and months ahead, better sense will prevail and the frenzy, which caused the surge in human knee-jerk reactions, will gradually ebb.

To a person who has suffered, or lost a family member to this fatal virus, my point of view may seem inhuman and slightly heartless. Only a person, who actually undergoes such a situation, can understand how painful and stressful things can really be. 

However, I'm only trying to be a little objective, in a situation where an entire city full of sensible people, seemed to have completely lost their sense of objectivity and basic common sense, as a result of what they were bombarded with, by many sections of the media.

My bone of contention really, is not so much with the common man's reaction to the situation. I was really peeved with the media, for the manner in which this situation was completely blown out of proportion, by almost every single one of them. 

Of course, many news channels, did try to present a sensible approach, by bringing in doctors to give the right kind of advice to people, and to answer the queries of the common man. 

However, the way in which the 'BREAKING NEWS' runner, kept flashing the number of deaths on those very same channels (in about the same way as they count votes during their election coverage, or flash the scores of a cricket match), didn't really do much to allay people's fears.

There was a time during my college days, when I was very seriously contemplating being a journalist. It was one of the two 'Career Choices', that I had in mind for myself. 

Today, when I see how the irresponsibility of the media can have such far-reaching consequences; I'm glad I opted not to be one.

With the steady increase of news channels, the competitive spirit and wanting to be the first to give an 'EXCLUSIVE' report, seems to have tossed 'Responsible Journalism' into oblivion.

This isn't the first time the media is being accused of this. Over time, it seems to be becoming a habit; and the effects of this habit, seem to be adversely affecting the common man, which obviously includes the families of the media-persons themselves.

I don't know, if this post will be read by too many journalists; but if some of them do happen to chance upon my thoughts, I hope it will at least lead them to think about, how every word they telecast on their channels, or that gets into newsprint, is often accepted as the 'Gospel Truth' by a large section of the public. Therefore, they definitely should, in good conscience, think about what they say and how they present the facts, before they let the words leave their mouths or their pen. ✍️

TO ERR IS HUMAN...TO FORGIVE, DIVINE!!! ✍️

Life presents us with a lot of different situations, and in the week just gone by, I underwent one such harrowing experience. On the face of it, it might seem like a normal situation that could arise at any workplace, from time to time. However, only the one who has to go through it, actually understands the depth of emotion, that accompanies every such situation.

An 'honest mistake' or what could be termed as an 'oversight' on my part, snowballed into a situation, where a few not so nice accusations, were levelled against me. Doubts regarding my intentions and loyalty, were raised in the minds of all concerned. An 'unnecessary rift' was created among my co-workers, and a lot of things that could have been avoided, were said in the process.

The situation caused me immense pain and an incredible amount of uncalled for stress. I literally cried my heart out, for 2-3 days. For a few days, I didn't want to have even a chance encounter or conversation, with the persons concerned; because I didn't want to re-live all the emotional stress I'd been going through.😔

In short, for the first time in 5 years, I faced a situation, where things were totally out of hand at work. In the midst of this, I sorely missed the presence, of the head of the institution, who happens to be out of the country at the moment, because I just felt, that I could've turned to him for counsel, if he was around.

I've never been a person to make a mountain of a molehill. So, under normal circumstances, I would have probably 'let it go completely'. However, when my entire system of beliefs was questioned, I needed to take a stand. I do not know, if the decision that I have taken, will prove to be injurious to my own well-being, in the long run. I do not know if it will forever sour relationships, with those that I hold in high regard. But one thing I do know, is that there are some times in life, when we have to do what we think is right, even if the world tells us to do otherwise.🤷🏻‍♀️

This experience though, has shown me how even the most upsetting situation, can sometimes teach you something valuable. It has also reinforced something, that I've been taught right from the time I was a little kid. 

So many times, when I've gone to church, I've heard Gospel readings and sermons, about 'Forgiveness'. As a Sunday School teacher myself, for so many years, I have also taught others, about this all important value, of not carrying grudges against people.

All this while, this was merely theory. Now, life had presented me with a situation, where I had a chance, to put these pearls of wisdom into practice. 

However, doing what I firmly believe in, and wanting to give someone a second chance, was not in line, with what some of my colleagues and superiors expected of me. 

The result, was conflicting points of view, and the creation of two separate camps; each seeing things, according to how they perceived the situation.

My decision to follow my heart and the path of forgiveness, taught to me by my faith, may prove to be the wrong one in the future. Giving someone a 'second chance' and hoping for the best, may eventually land me in a soup.

However, not making this decision would mean that I am being prejudiced, and continuing to hold a grudge against someone, for an extended period of time. In the long run, this would only prove to be detrimental, to my own health and sanity.

The mistake I made was completely unintentional; but I guess, there are 'no real accidents' in our life. Probably God let it happen on purpose, for a reason. 

While I follow the path taught by Jesus himself, for a while, I may lose the warmth of friendship, of a few that I hold dear. However, I can only pray for them, that they may be able to see, what their own past experiences, are preventing them from seeing. 

The basic fact is, that to err is only human, but to forgive is divine. I definitely don't claim to be a saint, and given another situation, I might do completely the opposite; but in this case, I'm happy to have chosen the path I'm on; and I can only pray, that Love and Forgiveness may conquer all. ✨️✍️

ON A NIGHT LIKE THIS... ✍️

I usually never have a problem falling asleep. Once I hit the bed, I’m on a trip to dreamland, within minutes. 

Over the past few weeks though, I find myself laying awake in the dark, on more than a few occasions. I guess, I’ve had a lot of things on my mind. Most often, I just toss and turn for a while, till I force myself to sleep. 

However, when it’s a full moon night like today, I look out of my window, and stare at the moon. Somehow, it seems to be keeping me company; and just looking at it shining down on me, fills me with some strange kind of comfort.😊

Today was one such night; and not being able to sleep, I decided to switch on the computer and update my blog. I hadn’t even sat before the computer for a minute, when it began to rain.

My aunt had called up from Goa earlier this evening, and told me that it was raining pretty heavily in Goa today. So, just a little while back, I wondered how long it would be, before the rains arrived in Mumbai. 

I was so glad to hear the rain outside my window. I wanted to shout aloud, “Wake up everyone! It’s raining!!!” Of course, if I did that at midnight, people in my building would think I’ve lost my mind.😄

So, on this sleepless night, when the moon is shining down in all it’s spendour, despite the dark rain clouds in the sky; I find myself just wondering, how the forces of nature, affect us so much. 

The intense humidity this year, has been making everyone so miserable, that just the sound of the rain, can makes us jump for joy.

How anxiously we wait all year round for the monsoon! Of course, it won’t be long, before everyone starts grumbling, about the muck and the dirt all around, during the rains; but still at the onset, it holds the place of a long awaited guest, that we welcome with wide and open arms.☔️

As I look up at the moon, I wonder how many others, must be looking up at it, right at this very moment, all over the world. What must be going through the minds of all those people, as they look up at that bright light, in the night sky? 

To some it may be a symbol of loss and longing, to others it may be a reminder of someone they love very dearly, to another it may just be a companion on a dark, lonely night; and to someone else, it may just be a friend.💕

We human beings have been blest with the gift of such an amazing imagination, that we can attribute almost any feeling or emotion, to the most inanimate and distant things.

The rain is something that’s bound to pour down on us, year after year, at around this time, because that’s the order of the cycle of seasons. That’s the way, it’s meant to be...And yet today, like a long lost friend, it brought a 'smile to my face', on a dark and restless night.

The moon is but a satellite, and shining down on earth, is what it has been programmed to do, on a regular basis. Tonight however, like on many other nights like these, it seemed to be 'someone I could communicate with'. Strange as it may sound, it seemed to talk to me like a close companion and a friend.✨️✍️

MY REASON TO SMILE 😊💕

I’m sure everyone has heard the saying, ‘The grass is always greener on the other side.’ I got a chance to experience that in this past one month. 

What a month this has been!!! It’s the month of May; and it’s an unusually hot and exceptionally humid one this year. The heat is driving everyone up the wall. Thankfully, since I’m on holidays, I don’t really need to venture out into the sun that often, which is really a blessing in some ways. 

Strangely though, I find myself envying those people who don’t have to stay at home. I even went to school 3-4 times this month, with no particular purpose. Just went, because I was too bored to sit at home. There was hardly anyone around; but I went anyway. 

I’ve also become exceptionally grumpy this month, probably because I don’t have a lot of people around me, to jabber with all day long, which is something I’m really a master at normally. I somehow seem to have lost my 'chirpy self' during this one month, in the wilderness of free time. When you have so much of it, you don’t know what to do with it, and it kind of weighs down on you.

‘Why are you complaining about holidays and free time?’, is what anyone would be tempted to ask. ‘It’s a blessing. At a time when everyone longs for a break, you’re actually getting a really long one, and you’re unhappy about it!!! What in the world is wrong with you???’

These are obvious statements and questions that anyone is bound to ask, in response to my grumbling.

So, am I ungrateful for a 'blessing', that I am so privileged to enjoy, year after year??? Am I stupid to be grumpy when anyone else in my place would be rejoicing???🤔

The answer – ‘I’m just human!!!’ 

One of the first statements, in our old community living and later, sociology text books used to be, ‘Man is a social animal and he needs to live in society, to live a healthy and happy life.’ 

Over the last five years, my closest 'community', other than my parents, has been the people at my work place. I spend the larger part of my day, with my colleagues in school and my boys; and when I come home, I spend the latter half of the day, talking about everything that happened in school. 

So, when I have to stay away from that community, for the first part of the day; I find myself at a loss for words, in the latter half of the day as well, because I have nothing to talk about.🤷🏻‍♀️

My mum pointed out to me a few days ago, that I seem to be talking about school, after every two sentences. Somehow or the other, the conversation that we have, always ends up going back to someone or something related to school. 

It made me realize, how closely connected I have become to my 'family at work'. My life practically revolves around my school and everything associated with it; and taken away from that set-up, even for a brief period of one month, I feel handicapped. I feel like a plant, plucked out of its natural habitat and forced to thrive elsewhere.😔

I’m on holidays; but despite that, I’m not the best person to be around these days, because I’m 'grumpy', and seem to be a little 'cranky' as well. 

When I’m at school, every day is a new day, with countless new experiences at every step. Contrary to that, the last month has been largely uneventful, and lacking in mirth. There’ve been a few happy moments; but there seemed to be something, that was hindering that joy from bursting forth. 

When you don’t have much to do with your time, you begin to spend that time thinking; but I guess too much of thinking, can make you lose your mind. I guess that’s what I’ve encountered during this break.🙄

I usually spend my holidays, out on a school trip. So, even though technically I’m on holiday, I’m still with my extended family; and so I don’t feel so lost. This year, I spent the entire month at home…No trip, No holiday, No outings. My only contact with my extended family, was the computer and the phone, which did keep me connected to a few colleagues and students; but I guess it cannot substantially make up, for what I have when school is on.

I did try to catch up on my reading, and tried to sort out the mess in my room, which was long overdue; but these are all tasks, that one has to do alone...and living 'a solitary existence', is not exactly my idea of a 'Life'. 

I need people around me, to bring some noise and laughter into my world. 

I need voices around me, to counter the loneliness within. 

I need my boys around me, to fill my days with smiles. 

Without them, I feel that life itself is a drag.

So, have I got too attached to my family at work?...Yes, I think I have. I’ve always been a person, who doesn’t need a big reason to be happy. Now I realize, that I don’t need a reason to be happy because 'my reason to smile', is always around me; and it’s only when I’m forced to be away from them, that I feel incomplete.

I really thank God for my family at school – my Principal (who I will miss dearly), my colleagues of course (who’re my closest friends these days); but most of all, my boys (both past and present). 

All of you together, make me the person that I am. YOU COMPLETE ME...THANK YOU!!!✨️❤️

BIG BOSS - SOON TO BE WATCHING OVER US NO LONGER ✨️✍️

A short while ago I received some rather painful news. My boss at work, was going to be transferred. This bit of news wasn’t totally unexpected, as we’d been guessing that this would happen, right from the beginning of this academic year. He was completing his tenure of 6 years, and very often Principals get transferred, after those many years in our school. So, rumours about this 'transfer', had been doing the rounds, right through the academic year. Of course, although we feared that it might happen, heart of hearts we never really wanted it to.😔

For me personally, this Principal has been my first boss, since this is the first institution I’ve ever worked in. He was the person who interviewed me, and gave me the opportunity to work in this school – a job I have loved so much, ever since the day I joined. 

My job has hardly ever seemed like a job, because of the familial bonds that exist, among the management, the staff – both teaching and non-teaching, and of course, our beloved boys. 

On the countless occasions, when we’ve gone out for school outings and trips with him, his extremely jovial nature, has often made us forget that he was our Principal. In school however, he was always my Principal and my boss, and I have always respected and admired him tremendously, for being able to maintain a healthy balance with the staff, when it came to being a firm and tough Principal during school hours; and a very approachable and friendly individual, once school was over.👍

In the past five years that I’ve been a part of this school, things haven’t always been hunky-dory though. There have been times when I have disagreed, with my Principal’s perspective on certain issues. I have also not always agreed, with the manner in which he has dealt with people and situations. Besides this, there’ve been times, when my Principal has given me a piece of his mind, as any boss would. Occasionally, little things he has said to me intentionally or unintentionally, have even hurt me tremendously. 

Despite these few 'not so nice' moments though, I’ve always had the deepest love and respect for him; and I thank God ever so often, for having given me a boss like him, right at the start of my career.✨️

Apart from his nature and personality, my Principal is also a man of ideas, and his mind is constantly at work, trying to think of innovative ways to do the same thing. In his quest and zeal to be creative, there were often times when his expectations of us teachers, skyrocketed. They also seemed unreasonable and over-ambitious to me. On certain occasions, I even found myself saying, “How can he possibly expect us to do all that?”...and yet, after unwillingly having done something, that he literally forced us to do, we realized that although the experience had driven us up the wall, and had almost made us lose our minds completely; at the end of it all, we had 'grown tremendously', simply because, we had pushed the boundaries, that we had set for ourselves, and tried to do something, completely different from the normal.

That is one quality my boss has, that has really helped me to become a 'better teacher'. I have grown at every step of the way; and I owe a large part of the credit to him, because it was he who provided the opportunities, to hone my skills and develop my talents, by constantly encouraging me to do something 'original and innovative'. 

My 'creativity' has bloomed under his guidance and direction. He never stifled my ideas, just because I was new to the profession, or young in years. On the contrary, he constantly encouraged me, to 'think out of the box' and lauded me, each time I succeeded in something innovative, that I set out to do.😊

Now that he’s leaving us, I’m happy that he’ll be going to an even bigger institution. It’s going to be a much bigger challenge in comparison, considering the sheer numbers and the reputation, which that institution carries with it. However, I look upon his transfer, as an opportunity for him to spread his wings, and go where others before him, haven’t dared to tread. I know that he will do great things and every success of his will only make me prouder still of his achievements.😄

Sadly though, I will really miss him; and I know that there are countless others in my school – students, teachers and parents as well, who share this sentiment.😔 

Fr. Bosco D’Mello was my boss, but he was a boss who aimed to be the best; and inspired others, to reach for the stars as well. Above all, he has always led by example; and that’s what makes him a great human being, an amazing priest and a Principal par excellence. 

Thank You Fr. Bosco for all that you’ve done for me, and for our school. Words will never be able to truly express, how I feel at this moment; but this is my small attempt, to express what you mean to all of us at Don Bosco.✍️

SUMMER HOLIDAYS 😊💕

‘We’re all going on a summer holiday
No more working for a week or two,
Fun and laughter on a summer holiday
No more worries for me and you
For a week or two.’🎶

The lyrics of this popular song by Cliff Richard, seem to encapsulate my feelings exactly, as another academic year is almost at its end. In a month from now, I’ll be absolutely free. Free to do as I please, for a little over 30 days. Free to while away the hours. I will have lots of time to myself, which is a 'rare commodity', right through the year. 

For an entire month, my vocal chords will also get a well-deserved break. My ears will experience an amazing sense of calm, that seems to evade it, all year round. My mind will not be working at the speed of lightning; and multi-tasking (an art, which I have mastered), can very happily take a back-seat.😊

After having read what I’ve just put down, it would be pretty obvious, that I’m really looking forward, to the month of May and the long-awaited vacations, that are a part and parcel of the life of every teacher. I really won’t deny that I am.

After the stress and strain of the entire academic year gone by, it is definitely a well deserved and well-earned break; and almost every teacher I know, looks forward to the month of May, simply because it’s the only time in the entire year, when we are actually completely free. No doubt we get a lot of holidays at other times during the year; but those holidays, always come with a full itinerary of corrections, lesson planning, other things to plan out, or some activity to prepare for.🤪

As opposed to that, these 30 days are completely 'sacrosanct'. They are devoid of any school related work. They are precious moments; and we get a chance to savour literally every second of them, to our heart’s content. I know that these holidays are something, that all my friends envy me for; because no other profession, can boast of a month-long break every year, which you actually get paid for.

However, to those who think this is totally unreal and unfair, I would say; step into my shoes any day, and at the end of the academic year, I doubt there would be anyone, who would feel the 'BREAK', is undeserved.

Of course, everyone I know, looks forward to holidays. We use it for a wide variety of reasons. To chill out and relax, to maybe catch up on our reading, to do the things we’ve always been meaning to squeeze into our busy schedules, but never got down to doing, to recuperate from the stress of the routine, that often ties us down, to rejuvenate ourselves so that we can re-charge those tired minds and limbs, that have been anxiously looking forward to a well deserved period of rest and relaxation, to catch up with family and friends, to make up for lost time; and mainly, it gives us time to 'just be ourselves'.😊

One of the only pitfalls of the summer holidays for me personally though, is that it takes me away from my boys, for a really long period of time; and while it is often said, that absence makes the heart grow fonder, in my case, being apart from them, only increases the sense of loss and longing for the re-opening day, when I will be able to meet them all again.

Life truly has an uncanny way of bringing us full circle, back to the very place where we began our journey. At the end of a long year, we can’t wait for the holidays to begin; and as the holidays progress, we look forward to the light at the end of the tunnel, in the form of a new year and a new beginning. That’s the circle of life, I guess - one that has no end. ✍️

IF ONLY I HAD MORE MEMORIES ✨️❤️

IF ONLY I HAD MORE MEMORIES ✍️

What an absolute sweetheart you used to be!
Your amazing gray eyes left everyone spellbound,
I could safely bet and be sure to win,
Cause like you, I’m sure, there was no one around.

Your stay was short, the time was brief
You were destined to be here for a very short while;
But I’m sure that every face, that ever laid eyes on you
Must’ve lit up immediately, in a big, broad smile.

I was young in years and you were younger still
So, the memories I have, are both hazy and few;
If only I’d been older and wiser at the time,
Those images wouldn’t be as fleeting as the morning dew.

We generally don’t remember very much from our very early years,
But so often I wish my brain had a larger memory card back then;
Cause it would have given me a few more moments to savour,
Instead of just the snippets, from which these memoirs I pen.

I remember us quarrelling almost all the time
That’s something I miss most of all;
I remember how we played little make-believe games
We’d make up little skits in our hall.

I regret not having a chance to spend more time with you
I regret not being able to watch you grow;
So often, I wish you were still right here,
My greedy heart keeps asking for more.

But my desires, all came to a screeching halt,
As the wheels of that speeding jeep, came head on;
What a sight your tiny body must’ve been,
By the side of the road - so lifeless, so forlorn!😢

Would things have been different if you hadn’t crossed the street?
Would you have still been right here with me?
What if that driver had stepped on the brakes a little earlier?
What if your handsome face I could still see?🤔

Nineteen long years, I’ve been questioning
I’ve been wondering and wishing and thinking,
And in all these years, I’ve tried my very best
To keep those 'limited memories' from shrinking.

Cause they’re all I have, to remember you by
They’re all I have to 'stay in touch';
With all the progress tele-communication has made,
Direct dialing to heaven, is still a bit too much.

I love you dearest Nathan, more than you will ever know,
If only there was some way, I could tell you what I feel;
I still miss you, my dearest brother, more than words can ever say
The scars may have disappeared now, but the heart will never heal.✨️❤️

STILL WAITING…EVER SO PATIENTLY ✍️

There are so many times, when I think that there’s something or rather 'someone', missing in my life. Of course, the fodder for this thought, comes from the fact that nowadays, every person I meet, has only one question to ask me. “So, when’re you getting married?”🙄 

...And this isn’t restricted just to aunts, uncles and cousins, at family weddings and functions; although I have been asked that question repeatedly, at a few family occasions, that I’ve been to in the recent past.

It’s also one of the topics of conversation, that is repeated almost 3-4 times every day at home; and which I try to avoid now, due to the increasing number of times the subject is broached.

It’s a topic that my colleagues at school, bring up at regular intervals, with increasing frequency these days.

It’s the only topic, my friends seem to be able to talk about, considering that many of us happen to be sailing in the same boat.

And to top it all, my boys in school have joined the bandwagon as well. They’ve even volunteered their services, to run a 'marriage bureau' exclusively for me. In fact, recently on the day of the X Std. farewell, some of them even said, “Miss, please invite us for your wedding.”

So basically, almost everyone I know seems to want me to settle down and get married; and that includes even my 15 and 16 year old boys in school, who are almost half my age.🤦‍♀️

Now, I know that every single person who brings up this topic is doing it because they have my best interest at heart. I also know that every query is well-meant and sincere.

However, my answer to every single one of those people would be another question, “TO WHOM???”🤔

It’s a question that I’ve mulled over, not just for a few days, weeks or months; but it’s a question that has been going through my mind, for a few years now. 

Like every young girl, I have my own hopes and dreams of the 'ideal person' for me. At the same time though, I know that “perfect” and “ideal” are just two very nice words in the dictionary; but that in reality, especially when we’re talking about 'human beings', these words are very hard to live up to. 

I know for a fact, that even I have flaws; and so to even think of finding someone without any, would be very juvenile and silly on my part.

Despite that, I do have a few things, that I always have in mind, when looking for the person, that I would like to spend the rest of my life with. 

Unfortunately, although I am confident that God has created him, I just haven’t been lucky enough to locate him, thus far. Like one of my friends at work puts it, “Only God knows where her 'special someone' is hiding.”😄

Many of my married friends have told me, that marriage is way over-rated; and that life doesn’t really change much, after you tie the knot. It’s just that you go to a different home and start doing a lot of the things, that your parents used to take care of, yourself. 

It does call for a lot more responsibility and lesser time for the fulfillment of your own desires. It does change your life in many ways; and yet, in other ways, life just keeps going on, the way it always was.

Nevertheless, thinking about the issue, often makes me wonder, why our culture attaches so much importance, to the 'Institution of Marriage'. 

No doubt, this question of mine could lead people to think, that this post is now going to be heading in the direction of an 'anti-marriage campaign'. However, that isn’t my intention whatsoever, because I most definitely do intend to get married; and considering the way time is flying, sooner than later actually. 

I just felt like expressing a few of my thoughts, on how the 'Single' young women of today, are just so 'pressurized', by the conventions of culture; and how the need to live up to those 'unwritten rules', of the age by which a girl should be married, adds so much of 'unnecessary stress', to our already stressful existence. It causes the persons concerned, as well as the parents, families and friends, totally uncalled-for worry and anxiety.

I’ve been patient all this time, and will continue to wait patiently, till God brings that 'special someone', that he has made for me, into my life. I just ask for the grace, to be able to recognize him, when he does come along.

...And while I’m waiting, if only society and culture, would give me and others like me, the space and the time, to let life take its course, the way it was supposed to. If only they would let me wait…ever so patiently, how much more comfortable and stress-free, life would be.✍️

GOOD TO SEE YOU 2009 😊

A friend sent me a message today that said the 1st of January is just another day. It is neither a beginning nor an end, because it’s actually just a continuation of things as they were going on; and it will carry on in just the same way, even after today. I thought that message was very thought provoking, since there was so much of truth in it.

So often, we look at the last day of the year as something that is over; and we look forward to the New Year, with so much of anticipation. We bring in the New Year with celebration, fanfare and a grand countdown. Lots of people make resolutions, that they hope to keep at least for a while, if not right thru’ the year. There are so many things, that go along with New Year celebrations - lights, parties, new clothes, and what not.

I was asked these questions a number of times today, by so many different people…So, how did you celebrate the day? Did you do something special to bring in the New Year?🤔

Even as I thought over my answer to those questions, the entire day flashed across my mind in seconds; and it was so easy for me to pick out, what made this day special for me.

I brought in the New Year to the sound of music that I love…The music was made, in the company of friends, who love to sing together - friends, from my choir. We laughed, we joked, we sang to the accompaniment of a piano, we laughed a lot more, we danced, we dug out some really old songs, from extremely old books and sang them together, we added our own harmony and style to the singing, we pulled someone’s legs and then we laughed some more.

It was late, but I wasn’t tired; probably because I was too happy to notice, what time it was. At an unearthly hour, well past midnight; we shared a meal together and chatted some more over the meal. The New Year had begun; and I went to sleep, with a smile on my face.😊

The morning of the New Year, began with me singing God’s praises in Church, with a choir, that was seriously short of its usual quorum, thanks to the late night we’d all had. 

Following that, I spent a nice quiet day at home and sent out wishes, to as many friends as I could. The replies that kept coming in right through the day, was one of the things that made my day. 

During the day, I caught up with my cousins, my students, some ex-students and a few of my colleagues from school over the telephone and in cyberspace.

After a quiet day at home, I was back to singing for a wedding mass in the evening, at which the priest was an old and dear friend, who is always a joy to be around. I spent the evening watching a movie at home with my family and then catching up with a cousin of mine after ages over the telephone.

I also got a chance to test my friend's riding skills, a couple of times in the day, as I took the risk of putting my life in the hands of a bike rider, with a thoroughly confused sense of direction. Despite the underlying sense of fear about my well-being, as I stepped onto his new found love – his bike, I finally got back home in one piece. While I’m grateful for the ride home, I’d also like to add, that if the offer comes my way this often, it might soon become a cost-effective but a not so healthy habit.

And now, it’s just past midnight again. The first day of the New Year has drawn to a close. What was really exciting about the day? Nothing!!! Did I do anything drastically different from other days? Other than a few exceptional things like wishing people for New Year, not really...And yet, at the end of the day, I would say, I had an awesome day. My day was indeed extra-special.

Isn’t it great to know that we don’t need celebrities to grace the occasion, for it to be special? We don’t need loud music and fire-crackers, to brighten up our day. We don’t even need a five-course meal to celebrate...All we need to make moments of our life special is to spend time in the company of those we love, doing the things we love. That’s all there is to it.💕

I agree that the New Year isn’t really a new beginning or the end of something grand. For me, it’s just the continuation, of times spent in the company of people who matter to me. It’s one more chance to enjoy a song, a chat, a conversation, a message from an old friend, a joke, a laugh, an everyday incident, a friend’s company, a meal, a memory.

...and as each new day of 2009 unfolds before me, I thank God for every day of my life that has gone by before this. I thank him for all the moments that’ve made my life special thus far; and more importantly, I’d like to thank him for all those experiences that are still to come, in the future. ✍️

PEACE AND HARMONY - THE NEED OF THE HOUR ✍️

It didn’t take them long to destroy and tear down,
It didn’t take them long to turn every smile into a frown.
Within minutes, over hundred years of history, was consumed by the flame,
The failure of the system, caused the country so much shame.

The trauma was severe, the loss caused immense pain,
So many of the efforts to save lives, proved to be in vain.
At the end of the experience, the underlying feeling was fear
In almost every heart there was sadness, in every eye a tear.

The event is now over, the city is now calm,
But it’s time for us all to come together, to keep our home from further harm.
Peace and Tranquility, how much for you we long!!!
It’s only when we live in harmony, that we can wipe off every wrong. ✍️

MOMENTS THAT MATTER ✍️

An early morning trek with a small group of ten, in the chilly hills of Mussoorie...

Laughing our hearts out, at some spur of the moment rib-tickling jokes…

Two hours of non-stop singing of old Hindi film songs, on a long bus ride…

Listening to the childish banter, of a very intelligent 3 year old…

Spending valuable moments in the company of colleagues…

Turning the tables on my boys, and playing some pranks on them for once…

Whiling away the hours, in the cool climes of Uttaranchal…

Having a cup of hot sweet corn soup, to combat the freezing temperature…

Driving through the lush forests of Corbett and not sighting a single animal…😔

Preparing a hilarious mock Jungle Safari for the boys, to make up for the disappointment…

A spine chilling yet entertaining night walk with colleagues and new found friends, in Nainital…

The fantabulous setting of Wild Crest, Corbett…

Giving the beggars in the train a run for their money with our new-found begging skills…

Enjoying the company of our unforgettable, enthusiastic, friendly and fun-loving tour operators, Jayesh and Majid (urf Himesh Uncle)…😄

The fantastic super-fast train ride home in the Garibh Rath 3-tier AC train…

The inevitable parting at Borivli station which left me visibly teary-eyed...😢

These are just a few of the highlights of the last 9 days, that I spent in the extremely cool hill slopes of Uttaranchal. 

Most of them are apparently insignificant moments of my life. Moments like many others, that I’ve had before, on the many other tours that I’ve been for, over the years. Despite the fact that I’ve been for a tour, a camp or an outing, with my school staff and students, almost every year since I’ve joined the school; I always end up coming back home, with a trunk load of treasured moments. 

I’m not that much of a shop-o-holic. So I don’t really pick up too much stuff, from the places I visit. However, after almost every trip I’ve been for; I’ve come back home, armed with a whole bunch of 'Memories', that I can savour and cherish for a life-time.😊

This year was definitely no exception. After an amazing trip to sunny Goa, with the X std. boys (which was absolutely memorable); I didn’t really expect the next trip, to top that one. I knew I would have a good time (the way I always do); but I went for the trip without too many expectations. 

Was looking forward to visiting the land, that I’ve only read about, in Ruskin Bond’s stories; and the place wasn’t a disappointment at all, (although I would have loved to see more of Dehra Dun). It was absolutely amazing. Of course, I have to add that more that the places we visited; it’s my interactions with the people who accompanied me on this trip, that made it so special.❤️

Parth, a small little bundle of joy – my colleague’s son, who brought so many smiles to my face, while I was on this trip. He was a 'one-man entertainment channel', and kept everyone entertained right through the trip. I will miss not having him around all day long, now that the trip is over. 

My colleagues and friends from work, with whom I just laughed and laughed and laughed, right thru’ the 9 days…Some of us are absolute clowns; and putting so many cartoons in one place, could prove to be quite disastrous for the weak-hearted.😂

Of course, my boys (some of whom are regulars on the tours), whose company I always enjoy. Others, who were coming on the trip for the first time, and left no stone unturned to help make every minute of the trip, memorable.

...And an extremely naughty bunch of 6th std boys, whom I was put in charge of, while on this trip; who managed to actually get on my nerves and lose my temper, more than a few times, because of their constant bickering and quarreling. For some strange reason, they just never got on with one another; and that made life rather difficult, for the teacher in-charge - That’s me - who was holding on to the last strands of her patience, whenever it came to dealing with them.🤦‍♀️😄

Without a doubt though, these are also things that I will remember, when I sit down and think about my memories from this trip. 

Lastly, the Tour Operators, who were like the glue that bound this trip together. After going on so many trips, I’ve interacted with quite a few of them in the past: but no one has been able to gel and mix with the group, as easily and whole-heartedly as Jayesh and Majid. They were the life of this tour, and helped to make this trip absolutely worthwhile. So, kudos to them, for being two of the best Tour Operators, that DB has ever seen, in the last 5 years.👍

While the country is being torn apart by violence and strife, in the name of region and religion; I went for this trip with a lot of apprehension and fear. I wasn’t too sure, if I would come back, safe and sound. 

This trip though, helped me to forget all my worries. It gave me a chance to relax, and enjoy the company of friends and students, in a completely informal setting. It once again reinforced my belief, that it doesn’t take very long to make friends. 

I realized how grateful I was, to be blest with opportunities like these, to mingle with people, and to visit so many places, all over the country. 

I always knew, that I had an amazing ability to make friends. This trip made me marvel at, how quickly I got attached to people. The tears in my eyes at the end of this trip, were tears of sadness, at having to part ways from friends and students; who were my family for the past 9 days...No doubt school begins in two days, and I’ll be meeting almost all of them again; but it just won’t be the same. 

As I sit down to write this post, I am once again grateful to God, for bringing special people into my life. People who make the world a happier place. People who give me a reason to smile. People with whom, I am able to create so many 'Moments that Matter'.✨️✍️

HER REFLECTION ✨️❤️

She brought you into this world
As loudly you yelled and bawled,
I’ve answered you more than readily
Every time, my name you’ve called.

She taught you to take each step
You mastered it, as you stumbled and fell,
I’ve taught you to stand your ground
In life’s toughest situations, to do well.

She cooked up a meal for you
In the twinkling of an eye,
I’ve given you food for thought
And helped you aim for the sky.

She sat up late nights with you
Whenever you’ve been ill or sick,
I’ve lent you a ready listening ear
It’s all it takes to do the trick.

She’s the one you’ll always turn to
At life’s every twist and turn,
I hope what I’ve taught you will help
At times when you’re about to crash and burn.

Her’s is the shoulder you will lean on
Whenever life weighs you down,
I hope the lessons you’ve learnt from me
Will keep you away from every frown.

You’ll always be there for her
Till the day you bid each other farewell,
I wonder how long, we’ll stay connected;
That’s something only time will tell.

Our roles in your life have been so similar
We’ve both helped you mature and grow,
And yet, one of us gets to stay on in the game
While the other, becomes merely part of folklore.

In making you who you are
We’ve both played a vital part,
It’s just biology, and what we call fate
That gave her a bit of a head start.

I know I can never replace her
Though for a few hours each day, I actually do;
But I just wish I could get to share in her role
For more than just a decade or two.

She’ll never have to bother about being remembered
Cause you’ll always be close at hand,
What I dread most is that with time, I’ll be forgotten
I’ll vanish from memory, like the wave in the sand.

But there’s a long way to go before I cross that finish line
Over time, I’ll meet countless others like you, each day,
And I hope that at least in a few of your minds and hearts,
Like a mirror-image of her, I can forever stay.✨️❤️


(P.S. - A couple of alternate ways to end this poem were suggested to me, by one of the readers, because he felt that it would make the poem easier to understand. He felt it should say....

'And that's why She's a Mother and I'm a Teacher'
or
'But at the end of it, things come full circle,
Cause a Mother becomes a Teacher and a Teacher becomes a Mother'.😊

I found both very interesting; but didn't want to tamper with the spontaneous overflow of emotion, that was my poem. So, thought I'd just add this as a post-script.)✍️

FAITH RENEWED…CONFIDENCE RESTORED ✍️

The excitement had been building up much before the day finally arrived. The countdown had begun in the midst of all the tension and stress of the exams. Suddenly in the middle of supervising an exam, someone would say, “Miss, just 7 days to go.” I guess their enthusiasm rubbed off on me as well; and I also began looking forward to the trip, with a lot of anticipation.

Finally, the day dawned…The exams were over; but the joy on all their faces, was not just because the ordeal of the exams had been over and done with, for the time being. It was more because, in a few hours from then, we would be heading towards the land of the sun and sand. The land of the coconut trees and the rivers. The land endowed with scenic beauty.😊

For me, the excitement was tantamount to that of a little kid, who was visiting a new place for the very first time. No doubt, this was a place I’d been visiting, from the time I was a little kid. I was familiar with practically every place we were going to. Despite that, there was an underlying sense of joy, to be going back to the place, where I’d spent so many holidays with my Grandfather, and enjoyed every moment of it.✨️

For the others, it may have been like just another holiday; but for me going back to Goa, is always 'Special', as it brings back so many memories of my childhood.❤️

It brings a smile to my face, every time I think of how I tried coaxing the boys, to stop what they were doing, by saying, “Look out of the windows of the bus boys. We’re in Goa.”😄 After a point, they may have got annoyed at my repeated interruptions, to say something which was obviously 'So Silly'. For me though, it was a joy, to show off my native land, to these young visitors, who also happened to be my students.😊

Back home now, I find myself day-dreaming, every once in a while. We’re back in our beloved hometown Mumbai; but I don’t know whether I’m really happy to be home. There’s something that seems to be missing. I miss the noise around me. I miss the constant jabbering and yelling, the sing-song and the fooling around. I miss the fun and the laughter. 2 days on the train and 3 days in Goa…Somehow, all of that seemed a little too short. It seemed to get over, before it had even begun.😔

One of my past students, looked at the pictures of my trip today, and he said, “Miss, you sure have a lot of people in your pictures.” His conclusion was that I liked being around people, and that was very evident in my photographs. 

Come to think of it, I actually always like having a lot of people, in my pictures. This time it was Goa, so I didn’t really need to click pictures of places; since I’d already visited most of them before. However, even otherwise, I guess I always have 10-12 people in my pictures; with the monument, famous site, etc, only in the background. There’s so much we learn about ourselves, from the things we do. Isn’t it strange how everything we do, reflects a part of our personality?🤔

I’ve been on so many trips with the boys in school, over the last 5 years. So, what is it about this trip, that stands out? Was there something, that made this particular trip memorable? 

Yes, there sure were a lot of things. The hotel was amazing. The journey to and fro was fun. The hungama on the bus-rides from place to place was crazy. Lots of happy moments to choose from.😊

Strangely though, something that I will never forget about this trip; is an incident that made me unhappy. For almost half a day, it wiped off the smile from my face, and nearly drove me to tears. It was a misunderstanding, with one of my oldest students. An accusation of being ‘partial’ towards a particular group of students, was leveled against me. That word ‘partial’ is something, that cut through my heart like a knife. 

I guess it hurt more, because the person who pointed the finger against me, was a student who was so dear to me; one of my first students, who has always been so special. In the 5 years that I’ve been teaching, this was the first time, a student had leveled such a charge against me; and being something, that I’d always striven not to do, I found it extremely difficult to digest those words.😔

After a distressed day, I ended up with a splitting headache; but decided to sort things out, before turning in for the night. A relaxed chat face to face, worked wonders. It helped to ease the feeling of discomfort, that had been troubling me all day; and it definitely helped to clear the air and sort out every misunderstanding that ever existed.

So, would I call this experience, one that was a dampener on my fun trip? It upset me, no doubt. However, I don’t think it ruined my trip, in any way. Rather, it was a great learning experience. 

I’ve heard the saying very often, that ‘you can’t please all the people all the time.’ This was a real life example of that saying, coming to life through my own experience. 

Of course, I can joyfully say, that I now share an even more special relationship, with that student of mine. A rapport, that is now devoid of misunderstanding; as the whiff of the chilly air, that had momentarily slipped in through the crevice in the window, had now been driven out, and overpowered by the warmth of love and understanding. 

With the faith in the relationship renewed and the confidence in the student-teacher bond restored; I’m happy and my entire trip was worthwhile.✍️

A TREASURE TROVE OF MEMORIES ✨️❤️

I made an amazing discovery today - One that made me happy; and also brought tears to my eyes, at the same time. 

Some of my colleagues from work, came home for lunch this afternoon. After stuffing ourselves to capacity, with the delicious food that had so lovingly been prepared; we spent the rest of the afternoon, just sitting around chatting, enjoying the antics of little Parth (the son of one of my colleagues), and browsing through really old photographs. I dug out the oldest photographs of myself, that I could find, because I absolutely love showing off pictures of myself, when I was a little kid.😊

Flipping through those albums, was like going down memory lane, through the annals of time. My colleagues were quite intrigued, to discover the little kid in the pics, and see the way she’d changed and grown. None of them were a part of my existence, at the time those pictures were taken; and so my childhood, was an absolute mystery to them. Turning the pages of those old albums, was like a journey of discovery, into a world that was totally unfamiliar to them.

As my friends left to go back home, I found myself drawn to those photographs yet again. I may have seen them a million times before; and still, there’s something about albums and photographs that keeps drawing you back to them over and over again. 

As I went back to put those albums in place, I discovered, stashed away in that same cupboard; a whole bunch of old cards and letters . I started reading through every single one of them. 

These weren’t birthday or anniversary greetings, that we usually tend to save. Instead they were letters, cards and wishes dating back to March, 1990. Most of them were addressed to my Mum, Dad and Me. What amazed me though, was that upto this day, more than 18 years later; I had never ever laid eyes, on even a single one of those greetings or messages. 

I started going through every single one of them, and each word I read in those letters, was filled with so much of love and concern for me and my family. There were letters from immediate family, cousins, distant relatives, family friends, even casual acquaintances from long ago. 

Some of the letters had come from Goa, Mysore, Canada, Dubai; and some were from people who were close family friends at the time, but who’ve moved to different parts of the world today. 

So many of the letters had references to me as well; and every word in them expressed tremendous concern, for my well-being. A number of them wondered, how I was coping with the totally unexpected situation, that I had found myself in.🤔

As I read page after page and message after message, I realized how much of affection our family and friends had showered on us, through their kind words. I discovered how deeply moved, everyone had been at the time. I realized that the loss, which my family had suffered, had sent shock-waves through the lives of almost every person we knew back then.I was so moved by the words I had read. The empathy and deep emotional connection, was evident in every word.😢

Being a person, who loves corresponding and keeping in touch; for a few moments, I was upset at my mum. She is obviously the one, who has preserved all those letters, for almost two decades; but I was really irritated, that she had kept these from me. I immediately asked her, why she’d never told me about them. 

Later however, as I pondered over the situation, I realised that I was just a 10 year old kid then; and so maybe, she hadn’t felt the need to burden me, with so much of emotion and so many sentimental feelings, at the time. Over the years, she’d probably forgotten that she had never shown me those letters; and they had remained hidden, in a corner of that cupboard, waiting to be discovered by me so many years later.✨️

I’m not 10 anymore. Time has flown; and I wondered to myself, what if I were to sit down and reply to all those letters today? What would I write, and how would all those people respond? Would they even remember what they’d written, almost two decades ago? Most certainly not!!! Maybe, it would seem strange, to suddenly receive a reply to a letter, they had written so many years ago. 

I guess, it’s just something I’m thinking about, that I’ll never really get down to doing; but if I were to reply to all those letters, I think the underlying thought in every single reply would be, “Thank You Aunty, Uncle, Grandparent, Cousin, Friend, Neighbour, Associate, Mum and Dad’s Colleague, Well-Wisher. Thank You for showing that you care. Thank you for the love. Thank you for being there. Thank you for realizing, what we were going through. Thank you for feeling one with us, in our moment of deepest sorrow. Thank you! Thank You! Thank You!"❤️❤️❤️

I doubt any of those people will be reading this post today; but I hope they know, how much joy my latest discovery has brought me. Sure, some of the letters made me cry; but every single one of them was 'Special'; and I will never ever be able to Thank everyone enough, for all that Love.✨️✍️